As a man who's been active on dating websites for over six years prior to finding my girlfriend (who I eventually found through Tinder), I'd like to think I know a thing or two about dating sites and apps.
Needless to say, I definitely know how difficult it is to navigate the very competitive landscape that online dating can be. What I've found through almost a decade of digital perusal is that everything we say (or don't say) in our profiles provides quite the detailed glimpse into the kind of person we are.
We may not know this as we write it, but our dating profiles reveal much more about us than we first expect. But before I dig at the many, many men guilty of the information I disclose below, I do want to preface this article by saying that I encourage you still give these guys a shot. Understand that the red flags provided are generalizations and not all men should be written off for these faults. So let's get to it, shall we?
1. He says he's "a nice guy"
Saying you're a nice guy is a lot like saying you're humble: if this were true, you wouldn't have to tell us. By reassuring prospective daters that you're nice from the get-go, you, a cautious dater, should instead believe the opposite is true. Let him prove that he's a nice guy when the two of you start messaging back and forth.
2. His profile outlines his ideal first date
By not taking your interests into consideration prior to planning the date, he's displaying selfish qualities before you even communicate. Many dating profiles ask that you include your "ideal date" in the profile, and I personally hate this idea.
The reason being that an ideal date should vary by person — you know, once the guy's discovered what a prospective dater like you enjoys doing, what their interests are, and so on. By including all women into a single "ideal date" category shows that he might not be the most considerate individual and is perhaps a little cocky, considering he believes that one date idea applies to all women.
3. He reveals nothing personal about himself
This is usually a sign that he's hiding something: a girlfriend, a criminal history, a false identity, you name it.
4. There's next to no content on his page
Nobody likes filling out their dating profiles. They just don't. There's too much riding on these profiles and you tend second-guess everything you write. But by hiding details or providing very little information (including images — which could mean he's not the age or weight he claims to be), it shows that he's not investing much into the profile, which is yet another sign he's not taking online dating seriously. Instead, he's probably looking for something very short term. I'm talking a one-night stand.
5. His profile contains (too many) negative declarations
These negative words include: "don't", "can't", "won't", "couldn't", "shouldn't," and so on. You get the idea. Using negative declarations in his profile (which he definitely didn't do intentionally) could be representative of many things — none of them good.
By saying he "doesn't" want a woman with kids or that she "shouldn't" have pets are signs that he might be set in his ways, that he isn't willing to welcome diversity into his life. His negative choice of words could also be representative that he's simply a negative individual. Or, even worse, that he's a chauvinist.
6. His profile alludes to or mentions sex
Even if he doesn't say it outright, if his profile includes any sexual euphemisms or the profile seems overly flirty (a sign of this is a man's use of wink emoji), he's probably not the kind of guy who's looking to settle down. If this guy can't even get through writing his own profile without alluding to sex, what kind of filth you think his first message will be riddled with?
7. He insists he's not like other guys
This is a lie. A flat-out lie. By insisting he's different from other guys (which, I mean, he probably isn't), he's saying in a way that he's better than others, that he holds himself in high regard. As with most forms of overcompensation, this could signify that he has low self-esteem, which, as I'm sure you know, comes with its own share of disadvantages, like jealousy.
8. He uses "I" a lot
I get it. "I" is a very easy way to talk about yourself, which is exactly what you're asked to do when filling out a dating profile. What I'm talking about here is if he overuses the term in a way that feels self-absorbed, or that all he does is talk about himself, instead of the type of partner he's seeking. Too much usage of "I" could be a sign of bragging; I'll expand on this later.
9. His messages are impersonal and could be sent to anybody
This one isn't so much of a profile warning but more something you should steer clear of when messaging an individual. I know many friends who would do this: they'd write a canned message that could be copied, pasted, and sent to any woman they have even the slightest interest in.
They'd send messages like these by the dozens. How do you know if it's happening to you? Look out for a lack of personal touches in his message. If it's long, charming, but mentions nothing exclusive to your profile, it's likely he's sent this same message to many other women.
10. He brags. He brags hard
A guy who brags in his profile is anything but confident. Confidence is something that is shown, not declared outright, and by making the declaration through various humblebrags ("I get mistaken for Adam Levine all the time. I hate it!") in your profile tells those visiting your page that you're anything but.