Tyler Newman has never first-hand witnessed sexual harassment or "rape culture" until an eye-opening encounter with his fiancée that left him beyond infuriated.
Instead of ignoring the upsetting situation or staying quiet about it, Tyler shared their experience on Facebook in June, where it's since gone viral, to raise awareness for the outrageous sh*t women have to deal with. "Today my fiancée was faced with either changing her bathing suit, covering up with shorts, or leaving the pool that we paid a $300 fee to maintain on top of a monthly rent of nearly $1,000 (not including utilities and wifi)," Tyler wrote.
Tyler explained that Tori was accused of wearing "a thong bathing suit" and told that there were several complaints made about the way she was dressed in what he estimated as roughly the three minutes that they were there. "Tori decided to go to the apartment office, which I regret not accompanying her on, and address the issue politely and calmly with the leasing consultant about the situation in a more private setting," Tyler wrote. "In the office, the leasing consultant (who, for now, I will not name) insisted upon letting Tori take her picture to show 'how inappropriate' her bathing suit was, and instructed her to look into a mirror at her own body."
Tori explained that she knows exactly what she looks like in the swimsuit, she bought it herself, and that it is not in fact a thong. "The consultant told Tori that if she didn't have kids herself, she wouldn't understand," Tyler wrote. "When Tori explained that yes, she does indeed have a larger butt than a lot of people, and that 95 percent of the things she wears ride up when she walks, the woman told Tori that a 'normal bathing suit covers your entire butt' and again deemed my fiancée's body inappropriate."
The leasing consultant also told Tori that Tyler isn't allowed to help rub in spray sunscreen on her (even the parts of her body that she can't reach) and that her curvy body is too inappropriate for the teenage boys at the pool to see.
"Today my fiancée was told that she is less important than how men feel around her. That Tori is less important than a man's urges to be sexual towards her," Tyler wrote. "I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but I also respect her. I would never make her or any other woman feel less than what she's worth because of her outfit or her looks. This is how rape culture continues to grow."
This is the first time that Tyler has seen Tori this embarrassed. She couldn't even look her friends in the eye before leaving and broke down in tears after they left. "[I've] never seen her want to be isolated like that," he wrote. "All because some ignorant assholes think they can police the size and shape of her body. I've never seen a woman so disrespected."
Tyler decided to post pictures of what Tori was wearing not only to make people rethink moving into that apartment complex but also to stand up for all women. "MY POINT: My fiancée being told she should cover up on a 90 degree day in our own apartment pool because she will 'excite teenage boys' is bullsh*t. I will not stand for this," he wrote. "My fiancée should be able to wear a bathing suit without being sexualized and demeaned. She shouldn't feel violated."