15 Wedding Traditions That Are Totally OK to Break

Your wedding day might all be about you and your partner, but as soon as you set the date and start the planning, you'll be bombarded with well-meaning friends and relatives telling you all the things you "must do" at your wedding. Your aunt Betty will have opinions on you not wanting to wear white, your dad might love the idea of walking you down the aisle but be uncomfortable with making a speech. The simple fact is, if your wedding is special to you, then it's the right way to do it (especially if you add a little DIY style). Traditions are all well and good, but only if they mean something to you. There are some important, legal elements to any wedding, but you don't always need to stick to all of the traditions. There's definitely space to make the wedding feel more like your own and ensure your guests have a little more fun in the process. Here are the wedding traditions that it's completely OK to bend, twist, and even completely break.

The Speeches
Unsplash | Alasdair Elmes

The Speeches

Do you want to make a speech? Go for it. You don't? That's cool too. If your dad doesn't fancy the whole public speaking thing, he doesn't have to. The speeches are a great opportunity to thank people who have been a part of your wedding, but you get to decide who speaks, no one else. Don't worry about antiquated rules about who speaks and who doesn't. Make those moments count.

The Bridal Party
Unsplash | Andre Hunter

The Bridal Party

Sure, you've got your girls and you want them next to you on your big day, if only to help you with your dress when you need a pee. But it seems a shame to leave out your brother or your oldest pal just because he happens to be a guy. Include them. Make them a "bridesman," or have a best man. Have an all-male bridal party if you want to. Why not? Whatever you want to call them, include the people that will make your day special. And if you want nobody at all, that's fine, too.

Being Given Away
Unsplash | insung yoon

Being Given Away

This is an old tradition that doesn't really sit well with some people nowadays. Women do not "belong" to anyone but themselves, thank you very much. However, having someone walk you down the aisle can be a lovely thing. It could be one parent, both of them, or another special family member or friend. They could walk you halfway, if you want (if it's good enough for Meghan Markle, it's good enough for us). You can also choose to walk yourself down the aisle if you want.

The Vows
Unsplash | Wu Jianxiong

The Vows

You can write your own (depending on the setting), or you can use traditional vows. It's totally up to you. Oh, and you can totally cut out that bit about obeying anyone.

Throwing Confetti
Unsplash | The HK Photo Company

Throwing Confetti

Check with your venue before your guests start handing out confetti and rice. A lot of places ban it because it's not always biodegradable and it's a total pain to clean up.

Throwing the Bouquet
Unsplash | Photos by Lanty

Throwing the Bouquet

You paid a lot of money for those flowers. If you want to keep them, you can!

The First Dance
Unsplash | Alvin Mahmudov

The First Dance

Some people love the first dance: that number the bride and groom spent weeks learning, the song choice, the final old Hollywood kiss. In the moment, they're all part of a lovely day, but like the rest of your wedding, this is something you should only do if you really, really want to.

Spending the Night Apart
Unsplash | Hutomo Abrianto

Spending the Night Apart

Some couples still like spending the night apart before the wedding, and if you've got a gaggle of bridesmaids, it can be a lot easier logistically. But, consider that from the moment your families arrive two weeks early "to help," you're going to be manic, everyone is going to have questions. and something will need doing. Spending the night before your wedding together, and having breakfast together the next day, might be the only bit of peace the two of you get for a while. Grab it.

Traditional Family Photos
Unsplash | Nathan Dumlao

Traditional Family Photos

Rows of family members all looking stilted at the camera don't really say happy wedding. If that's not what you want, ask your photographer to take a more candid approach. You can still get those family shots, but it'll look like you're having fun in the moment instead of waiting for a bus. Instant cameras and a makeshift photobooth will also help you capture natural pics. Your formal photos are never going to be your favorites from the day, so don't stress about them too much.

A Tiered Cake
Unsplash | Photos by Lanty

A Tiered Cake

You don't even have to have a wedding cake if you don't want to. It's nice to have something to cut together (although in Bavaria, the couple saw through a log together — so that's something to bear in mind!), but wedding cakes are expensive and if you're cutting costs, this is a quick way to do it. Consider a cheese wheel or one small cake to cut together, and the offer other sweet treats. Or go for a French classic — the croquembouche.

Wearing White
Unsplash | Alvin Mahmudov

Wearing White

Traditionally, Christian brides used to wear blue on their wedding days. Most couples live together these days, so the jig is up. Wear whatever color you like, you're going to look amazing.

Wearing a Dress At All
Unsplash | angela pham

Wearing a Dress At All

Brides wearing separates, super chic white jumpsuits, or tuxedos are the coolest, sexiest brides, and their weddings are the most fun.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Unsplash | Anna Docking

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

No one will even notice.

Getting Married on a Saturday
Unsplash | Petr Ovralov

Getting Married on a Saturday

There are some positives to getting hitched at the weekend, but you'll save a lot of money getting married mid-week. Plus, all of your guests get to take the day off work, and that's something that most of them will jump at.

Changing Your Name
Unsplash | Micheile Henderson

Changing Your Name

Everyone is going to have an opinion on this. There are valid arguments to keep your own name and no doubt strong reasons to change it. You can double barrel, or even pick a whole new name for just the two of you, if you don't mind the extra paperwork. This is something that people will want to weigh in on, but you can only really do what feels right for you. This is a part of the wedding that your partner doesn't get much of a say in. It's your name for the rest of your life, and it's up to you what it is.