Worried About Social Media Ruining Your Big Day? How to Set Ground Rules With Wedding Guests

An increasing number of couples are starting their celebrations with an announcement asking guests not to post anything on social media until the evening reception or even the following day. It might seem like a harsh option, but it does mean that you and your partner are in control of when your carefully planned wedding makes it on to Facebook.

However, it might put your guests on edge before you've even said "I do," especially in an age where it's almost second nature to share as soon as a picture is taken, so judge how your friends will receive the news, and weigh that into your final decision.

If you do decide to ban social media, you need a pretty clear strategy over how you're letting guests know. You have probably worked out you're going to be busy in the run up to the ceremony, so you need to nominate someone to break the bad news to any Instagram addicts, and they need to be a) important enough and b) bossy enough to make the rule stick. You could choose a confident bridesmaid or groomsman or even ask your professional photographer. Just bear in mind they won't be able to police the decision for you, and there are only so many times they can ask before everyone starts to get uncomfortable.

Alternatively, you could factor your rules into your stationery, wedding website, or have (friendly) signs made.

While most people will understand if you ask them not to share photos until you've had a chance to pop something on social media yourself, an indefinite ban or a shopping list of what they can and can't use is one way to make sure they won't be dancing on the tables at the end of your reception. If you want to stay in control, keep your rules simple, and try to do it in a friendly way so your guests understand why you being the first person to share images with the rest of the world is so important to you.

If you do want to take control of the first social media image, try and get it done as soon as possible. Bear in mind that you won't really be thinking about Instagram or Twitter as you sign the register and, if you're sensible, you will have left your phone in your hotel room or with a relative to keep it safe so you won't really be in a position to fire up a "Just Married" selfie before you walk down the aisle. And be understanding if a guest just gets carried away and goes straight to Facebook as they do with all the photos they take.

Some couples go in completely the other direction and encourage guests to share as many photos as they want on social media. And Instagram and Facebook mean you get a chance to see all the mad moments at your marriage that you probably missed because you were too busy getting wed. Hashtags for weddings are increasingly popular, but you need to make it memorable and obvious. Check the tag page ahead of time to ensure it has not been used for something else already.

On the day, make sure it's posted up around the wedding, perhaps even include it on the menu or the name cards so everyone has it on hand. Otherwise, you'll be chasing photos 'round the internet and getting interrupted by cute kitten photos until your Silver Wedding Anniversary.

The hashtag you choose could have a big impact on the kind of images your friends share of your wedding. If you have a theme or have picked a special destination, including that in the hashtag will help focus minds and could help you present the image of the perfect wedding on Instagram. Except, if your celebrations are looking that polished, chances are you're not enjoying them. The biggest rule of all when it comes to social media at weddings is to remember it's all about you, not the hashtag.