7 Ways to Help Your Child Survive (and Thrive) in Middle School

You've fixed everything in your child's life, from physical pains to emotional ones. But now your child has to learn how to do these things themselves. This doesn't mean you have to sit back and watch what happens. Rather, Icard suggests the following approach:

1. Listen to the problem.
2. Ask how the problem makes them feel.
3. Ask them to come up with a list of solutions — don't react!
4. Ask them to pick their favorite solutions.
5. Ask how that outcome would make them feel.
6. Let them pick the solution with the best outcome for them.
7. Follow up and see how things went.

This allows you to stay in the loop without intervening and teaches your child proper problem-solving skills.

Source: Flickr user A&M Commerce

The best way for your child to succeed in middle school is for them to go in with an open mind. So whether your time in middle school was a tween dream or a living nightmare, it is important your child doesn't know about it. If they do, Icard says, it could cause anxiety about either living up to your amazing experience or facing similar traumas.

Source: Flickr user U.S. Coast Guard

For years, you have dressed your child in the clothes you like, enrolled them in the activities you approve of, and asked them to do things that please you. But now you have to let them do things their way, no matter how much it may scare you. Icard writes that you must "give your child ample opportunity to begin asserting her uniqueness," whether it's changing the clothes they wear or switching up their extracurricular activities. By allowing them to take smaller risks like this, they are less likely to be tempted by the more dangerous ones (i.e. drugs and alcohol).

Source: Flickr user MainDOE

Middle school is a time where a lot of friendships are made and, unfortunately, lost. By forming friendships with people in a variety of cliques, Icard says, your child is less likely to get hurt if one of their friendships falls through. Besides, it never hurts to be kind to everyone.

Source: Flickr user mrpetersonline

Social media sites have a bad reputation with parents, given the amount of cyberbullying that occurs on them. But Icard writes that there can be benefits to certain platforms.

"Social media is a great way to witness your child's developing values, humor, relationships, interest, and concerns," she writes. By setting social media rules for your child (providing you with the password) and yourself (limiting comments), you can actually use the sites to your advantage. Of course, your child shouldn't join anything until they are the appropriate age.

Source: Flickr user apdk

At this age, your child's brain is only halfway developed, so they are bound to stumble when it comes to decision making. Let them stumble! Each time they do, they practice using their brain to find better solutions. This may become frustrating for you, as you want your child to do the right thing all the time. But Icard writes that you must "maintain sympathy for how weak his decision making, impulse control, and critical thinking skills are." If you worry about your child doing something that can put them in serious danger, Icard says it's OK to step in and implement her problem-solving practice.

Source: Flickr user mrpetersonline

There's no denying that middle school is a scary place, but your child doesn't need to know that.

"Talking about it like it's a big, ugly process and worrying about how messy it might become is counterproductive," Icard writes. Instead, she suggests talking positively about this phase so they can walk through the door with their heads and spirits high.

Source: Flickr user YFCUSA