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Best Things About Canada

81 Reasons You Should Move to Canada (Thanks to Donald Trump)


Image Source: Getty / AFP / Chris Roussakis

"That's it, I'm moving to Canada." It's been a long-running joke for Americans that when sh*t hits the fan here, we'll just move upstairs. But guess what, guys, the joke's on us: and his name is Donald Trump.

After Trump swept Super Tuesday back in March, Google searches for "How can I move to Canada" spiked dramatically. And now that Trump is the president-elect, it might be time to pack your bags, throw on a toque, practice your rendition of "O Canada," and put your money where your mouth is.

If you needed any further incentives, here are the best damn things about Canada from the people who would know best — real, honest-to-goodness Canadians in my life. (Fair warning: I think some of these are made-up. Milk in a bag? Affordable education? That can't be real.)

  1. Justin Trudeau and his agenda to Legalize It (weed) and allow marriage to turtles and moose.
  2. No Donald Trump (Drumpf).
  3. Liberal and progressive politics.
  4. People are friendly AF overall.
  5. Universal health care: meaning stress-free doctor and hospital visits, and if you get sick they won't let you die or go bankrupt. (Health care is NOT free.)
  6. Affordable education: going to college will cost you $3,000-$4,000 a year depending on where you go so you don't necessarily come out of your college education burdened by extreme debt, which is pretty dope.
  7. Taco Bell's Fries Supreme (it's nachos, but on fries, and I've written to Taco Bell US about them five times and have yet to hear back . . .).
  8. The slopes: Whistler has, hands down, the best snow ever.
  9. The Summers: Lake Louise has to be one of the most gorgeous places in this world, and you can hike to a tea house that makes the sweat all worth it — way better view of Niagara Falls and you can surf in Tofino.
  10. The country as a whole is still so raw and beautiful — every square inch isn't being used for housing and commercial buildings.
  11. The people: kill 'em with kindness and funny accents, also politeness and manners have not yet been lost on this country (I still say pardon instead of what).
  12. Diversity can be found throughout the country, not just in certain states as it is here.
  13. More respect when you go abroad (I've been guilty of claiming my Canadian roots whilst traveling just because people treat you with more respect).
  14. Tim Hortons: because . . . TimBits, duh.
  15. The architecture: it's like going to Europe without leaving the continent.
  16. All Dressed Lays.
  17. Caesars: it's like a Bloody Mary but BETTER because it has Clamato.
  18. They have more opportunities abroad: if you're Canadian, you're in the Commonwealth and you can work/live abroad before you're 30.
  19. They have better TV: Degrassi? Less censorship for shows, which makes sense, because we're not babies!
  20. The air and skies are so clean and clear! You can actually SEE the stars, and if you're in Alberta you can see the Northern Lights (who needs to go to Scandinavia when you can just hop on a plane for three hours?).
  21. Wait, I forgot hockey. No explanation needed.
  22. Ketchup chips.
  23. Poutine.
  24. The US dollar conversion right now means everything is 30 percent cheaper.
  25. Ontario: all their milk is in plastic bags not bottles. Strange.
  26. A photo posted by JOEL PODBIELSKI (@joelpod) on

  27. "The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation," said Pierre Trudeau, introducing divorce, homosexuality, and abortion reforms as Justice Minister, 1968. This is the driving force behind why our elections and government have separated these social issues. Unlike in the United States, where, even today, they are key issues.
  28. Popcorn seasonings.
  29. Sorry.
  30. Dill pickle chips.
  31. Maple Syrup.
  32. BEER.
  33. This hour has 22 minutes.
  34. National Film Board cartoons.
  35. The Cat Came Back:
  36. Log Driver's Waltz.
  37. Lumberjack Games.
  38. Canadian Engineering Iron Ring and the ridiculous ceremony that comes with it.
  39. Ketchup goes on Mac and Cheese, always.
  40. Dudley Do-Right.
  41. Mounties.
  42. Mike Myers.
  43. Jim Carrey.
  44. Terrance and Phillip.
  45. Ryan Gosling (duh).
  46. A self-proclaimed feminist prime minister.
  47. A prime minister everyone wants to marry.
  48. A prime minister with a tattoo.
  49. A prime minister with #hairgoals.
  50. The prime minister's appointed cabinet is #squadgoals (based on gender-balanced and diverse members).
  51. Basically Justin Trudeau is just the best.
  52. Always being above America.
  53. Two official languages.
  54. Beaver tails (the pastry).
  55. Don Cherry.
  56. Sidney Crosby.
  57. Curling.
  58. Weather.
  59. Mountains.
  60. No political circus.
  61. Roll up the rim: it's excessive gambling that is socially encouraged!
  62. Kinder Surprises.
  63. Coffee Crisp.
  64. Macintosh Toffee.
  65. Cherry Blasters.
  66. Hawkins Cheezies.
  67. The term "swack."
  68. Mailboxes that look like this:
  69. A photo posted by 문제홍 (@dboymoon0730) on

  70. Any time Niagara Falls is photographed, it's always the Canadian side, 'cause we've got the more beautiful side.
  71. Colored money and loonies and toonies.
  72. Justin Bieber! (Not like I care, but he's Canadian.)
  73. The best comedians are all Canadian.
  74. Obviously our water, mountains, and air.
  75. Let's all thank Canada for Ryan Reynolds, too.
  76. We celebrate diversity and embrace being a mosaic country rather than a melting pot.
  77. Our education system is provincial and not federal.
  78. Science: less restrictions on research funding (especially with Trudeau!). We are also the leaders in fecal transplant research (yes, poo transplants), a very effective treatment for IBS, Crohn's, etc. to replace GI bacteria! Your poo is more unique than your fingerprints, so if any of you ever kill someone make sure you don't leave any poop behind.
  79. Our government funds the Canadian Broadcasting Corp (CBC) $150 million a year to ensure we have Canadian content.
  80. I have to say, people are generally just nicer here.
  81. And it's really beautiful.
  82. Also five-cent candy!
  83. This:

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