4 Dreamers Remember the Moment They Learned They Were Undocumented

Updated on 6/25/2018 at 3:05 PM

While many recipients of DACA — who are known as Dreamers — grow up in the US fully aware they are undocumented, that's not the case for everyone. In fact, some Dreamers had little to no knowledge that they came into the country illegally until one jarring moment revealed the truth. Some lived their young lives thinking their future held the same opportunities as their classmates' and friends' — only to find out later that their paths would be uncertain.

The Development, Relief, and Education For Alien Minors Act, or Deferred Action For Childhood Arrivals, has been in limbo since the Trump administration announced its plans to rescind the program in September 2017. DACA was first established as an executive order by then-President Barack Obama in 2012; it allows protections for recipients under the age of 31 who were brought into the country illegally before their 16th birthday.

While the Supreme Court did buy DACA recipients some more time with its decision to not hear arguments from Congress on the program's future — therefore allowing DACA to continue — the ongoing debate over immigration still leaves many Dreamers uncertain and fearing the worst.

POPSUGAR spoke to Dreamers who still remember clearly the surprise and dread they felt when they discovered they were undocumented. Here are their stories.

Maribel Serrano, 30

It wasn't until Serrano was about to graduate high school that she learned the truth about her immigration status.

"I noticed my classmates, during senior year in high school, congratulating each other on their first jobs and obtaining their first driver's licenses. I told my father that I wanted to start working and take my driver's test for my license," she told POPSUGAR.

Instead of driving her to the DMV, her father arranged for a family friend to take her to downtown LA. No one spoke on the car ride there, nor did anyone say anything to her when they made it to their destination: a photography studio. That's when Serrano knew something was wrong. "I felt an awful feeling in my stomach and felt nauseated, like I wanted to escape," she said.

The family friend had taken Serrano to get headshots, which would be used to make false documents that included a resident alien card and work permit. Serrano wouldn't find this out until later in life after speaking to other Dreamers whose parents had done the same for them.

While her family never brought up the mysterious trip to downtown LA (or admitted to her what it was really for), Serrano still remembers the experience vividly, calling it the "moment that broke my reality."

The experience, which Serrano described as "humiliating," motivated her to get involved in immigration activism. While Serrano is now eligible for a driver's license, work permit, and social security number thanks to DACA, she hopes that no other immigrant child will have to go to the same lengths she had to go through in order to work in the US. She's currently producing a documentary about her experience as a DACA recipient called My DACA Life (Mi Vida DACA), hoping it will spark a conversation about immigration and DACA.

Ana Rosas, 27

"I remember being in fourth grade and finding out I couldn't leave the country because I wouldn't be able to come back in legally — which was pretty shocking," Rosas told POPSUGAR. "But it wasn't until sixth grade that I was given a form to take home and fill out and bring back to class. While in class, I asked my teacher what to do if I didn't have a social security number. A classmate told me everyone had a social, and I had to reassure her that I didn't. Even the teacher didn't really understand until my TA asked me if I wasn't born in the US," Rosa recalled, "to which I answered 'no.' That was when it really sunk in that I wasn't a US citizen like everyone else."

Her parents would later explain to Rosas that they had come to the US when she was only 1 year old. While this didn't change the way she viewed her parents, whom Rosas described as "hard-working people," her experience as an undocumented immigrant hasn't been easy. "It's been an emotional roller coaster," Rosas said.

Rosas is currently in the DACA program. She hopes to gain citizenship one day and no longer have to to live with fear and uncertainty. She hopes the program will continue giving other undocumented youths the same opportunities it gave her.

Gabriela, 27

"I tried applying for a job when I was 16 and didn't know what a social security [number] was or what my legal status was," Gabriela, who asked that we not use her last name, told POPSUGAR. "So my parents had to break down what being undocumented meant." Gabriela said the moment was a learning experience — and a heartbreak.

"I realized that not everyone is treated equally. I felt like an outsider and didn't think anyone could understand what I was going through," she said. "It was difficult to process why my friends that got lower grades than I did could get financial aid but I couldn't."

Gabriela says the pressure to be perfect led her to an eating disorder. "It takes a toll on you psychologically, and you never know when it's OK to feel safe," she said.

While Gabriela did manage to recover from her eating disorder in 2009, the journey to overcome her binge-eating was not easy, especially because she had to do it on her own. Gabriela's parents urged her not to see a therapist, fearing it might reflect poorly if she ever applied for citizenship in the future. "Looking back, they were believing in a long-standing myth — one of the many reasons why some immigrants don't seek mental health help," Gabriela said.

Gabriela currently works as a paralegal for a nonprofit that represents mostly child immigrants pro bono, though she's currently shifting to public relations.

Rafael Velarde, 21

Like many Dreamers, Velarde found out he was undocumented as a teen when he tried to land his first job.

"Realizing the reality of being an undocumented immigrant was an overwhelming experience," he told POPSUGAR. "When I was 16, trying to get a job was near impossible, so I had to resort to working in flea markets and one-day jobs. How was I supposed to prosper in the so-called 'land of opportunity' when there were so many barriers and I lacked the 'right' to work?"

Velarde did find work, thanks to DACA, and is currently working on obtaining a broker's license.