The 11 Scariest Things at Universal Orlando's Halloween Horror Nights — Ranked

Despite not being a big AHS fan, this was my favorite house to walk through thanks to the insane amount of detail that went into re-creating moments from seasons one (Murder House), four (Freak Show), and five (Hotel). The Piggyman jump scare (an ode to season one's cleaver-happy shower dweller) will fray your nerves right away, and a later moment involving the Gimp character might leave you with a serious aversion to rubber.

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The tagline for Halloween Horror Nights 26 is "You won't stand a chance," a play off of the creepy, psychotic clown character Chance they used in all of their advertising this year. I first brushed the notion off ("I'm an adult!" I repeated to myself while walking up to the park's entrance, "I will make it through without crying!"). Then, I walked through Chance's technicolor psychiatric hospital attraction, which left me literally dizzy with fear. No, really. You wear 3D glasses as you walk through, and with all the spinning wall art and screaming insane asylum patients, it was all I could do not to put my head between my knees.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre house is far and away one of the scariest things you'll 1.) ever experience at any Halloween Horror Nights event, and 2.) ever experience period. You step inside the decrepit home where Leatherface and his family mercilessly terrorized innocent hitchhikers, and see multiple versions of the chainsaw-wielding killer coming at you. One minute he's cutting some poor dude up on a table, the next he's appearing seemingly out of thin air to kindly provide you with a future phobia of power tools. The worst part? Just when you think you're in the clear, another Leatherface is waiting for you outside to deliver a final slice through your nerves.

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My heart goes out to Rick Grimes and Co. (surviving a zombie apocalypse sure doesn't look fun), but you could not pay me enough to march through this again. The attraction is full of your standard undead fare, but the last room in the house is modeled after a patch of woods, with strobe lights briefly pinpointing the exact location of the horde of zombies on their way to munch on you.

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Prepare to see Regan MacNeil at her worst when you experience Universal's immersive take on The Exorcist. The masterminds behind Halloween Horror Nights built the exact facade of the house from the movie, so it's almost as if you're stepping inside the movie's poster as you enter the maze. From there, it only gets more visceral (think: the smell of vomit — yes, really) as you endure room after room of different Regans painfully writhing around on beds in various states of possession. The first few Regans are subdued or animatronic, so when a real-live version of her finally leaps out at you, it's hard not to feel your heart shoot into your throat. Although I personally was much more terrified by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre house, everyone in my group agreed that this was the one that affected them the most.

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This house kicks things off directly after the ending of the first Halloween movie, with Michael Meyers seemingly returning from the dead to exact revenge on everyone. There are bloody nurses to avoid and claustrophobic closets to climb through, but seeing ol' Mike charging out at you through some flames, burned to within an inch of his life, is hard to come back from.

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Legend has it that back in the day, a bunch of settlers in the Wild West found a pile of cursed gold, which they took for themselves, and eventually all went insane. I mean, it's a legend created by Universal for this haunted house, which is scary in a "Whoa, did a human hand just shoot out of that piano?!" kind of way.

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At one point while walking through this foggy scare zone, an actor dressed as an insane asylum patient crept up behind me, and pointed at the corpse that was strung-up with its back sliced open hanging on a platform next to us (a photo I would've included here if it wasn't so graphic). He then started giggling. "He's a butterfly! He's a butterfly!" It was not a butterfly. I briefly wished for death.

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If you saw Krampus when it came out last year, you know that the film about the Bavarian Christmas demon expertly mixes horror with comedy. This house does the same, including horrifying scenes in an attic, and demented elves that lurk in every dark corner.

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You would scream too if a large man dressed as a drowned pirate gurgled in your direction.

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If you're claustrophobic in the least, this house is not for you. It's made to look like an ancient Egyptian tomb, and it gets smaller as you walk through. Expect skeletons, creepy-crawlies, and an eight-foot-tall, cat-esque demon to run at you full-speed. In related news: I'm never going to Egypt!

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