"Did you ever think one day I would be showing my fourth collection at Fashion Week and you'd be modeling in my show?" Designer Carrie Hammer's green eyes are glowing, and she's pinching my arm. No, I did not think any of this would ever happen. And we're not dreaming.
Carrie and I are in her apartment in NYC's West Village. It's a quirky space: the front door is painted to look like a Chanel No. 5 bottle, rooms are robin's-egg blue, and there's a six-feet-tall fork decal on her kitchen wall. She shares the three-bedroom space with two roommates, because she's a down-to-earth fashion girl.
The apartment is actually the reason we met. In the Summer of 2012, I was on assignment for my old job at Time Out New York to do a story on Carrie's decorating style. It was friendship at first sight, and we've stayed in touch ever since. Back then, Carrie showed me a rolling rack of bold-colored dresses from her eponymous brand of bespoke women's workwear. My story was the first press she ever received.
In August 2015, the situation at Carrie's pad is quite different. There is still a rack of clothes, but this time its contents are top secret. Read on to find out why.
Image Source: Lauren Levinson
Now the rack holds her newest collection, which will be showcased at New York Fashion Week Spring 2016. Carrie has revolutionized the runway by featuring a medley of fascinating people — including CEOs, transgender women, and those with disabilities — on her runways instead of traditional models, and it's earned her quite a bit of fame, including a spot on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list. Past role models include Olympic figure skater Meryl Davis, The Daily Show cocreator Lizz Winstead, American Horror Story actress Jamie Brewer (who has Down syndrome), and Karen G. Crespo (a nurse practitioner who has had all four limbs amputated).
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Image Source: Lauren Levinson
This season, I was given the incredible opportunity of joining Carrie's role models on the catwalk. When news broke that Dove would be sponsoring Carrie's fourth show, I immediately reached out to my PR friends to congratulate them on the partnership and discuss coverage. The email I received back was from Carrie: "You were on the top of my list to chat with ASAP as I want YOU to walk in the show!!!"
Me?! At 5'1.5" inches, you want me to model at Fashion Week?
Growing up dancing has made me comfortable performing on many stages, from center court at halftime games with the high-school dance team to booty shaking to Britney Spears in front of 2,000-plus people at my college auditorium. But one thing I've never done is strut down a runway. After initially feeling honored, the nervousness set in. Should I diet? Start practicing my fiercest walk? In reality, I did none of those things and decided to just be myself — after all, isn't that the point of being a real-girl role model?
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Image Source: Lauren Levinson
Leading up to NYFW, Carrie and I got drinks and dinner in the West Village. She caught me up on her news: this season might just be the coolest "class" of role models yet, she said, with names like Penny Abeywardena, the NYC mayor's commissioner of international affairs, and June Cohen, the executive producer of TED Talks. I felt both intimidated and excited to be grouped with such an accomplished crowd.
As the editor of POPSUGAR Beauty, I help women find the perfect lipstick and learn how to DIY their own braids. Does that make me a role model? Carrie assured me that every model is chosen for a specific reason, and that by helping shed light on diversity in beauty via the POPSUGAR voice, I had earned a place in her roster. (Currently there is a 500-person role model waiting list, and you have to be nominated to be considered.) Two glasses of Rosé later, she convinced me to follow her back to her apartment where she took my measurements. There was no backing out now!
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Image Source: Lauren Levinson
A few weeks later, I had my first fitting, where I got a glimpse of my runway look. Every outfit from her show was black-and-white except for two hot-pink lacy dresses, which would be worn by Cosmopolitan For Latinas Editor in Chief Michelle Herrera Mulligan and me. "It's pink for POPSUGAR!" Carrie enthused. How did she know pink was my favorite color? Lace also has significance for my family, since my late grandfather owned a factory that created the luxe material. A peplum ruffle was just the icing on the girlie cake.
The next time I saw Carrie was the eve of her show for an event she dubbed the Role Models Rehearsal Dinner. She thanked us for participating and instructed us it was time to practice our walk. We cleared a center path, where Carrie marched down showing us when to stop and pivot. "This is the money shot — literal money shot," she warned. "We paid the photographers a lot of money — you have to hold the pose for three seconds so we can get a photo." The room of hypercompetent women nodded in agreement. Then, I felt like I was transported into a rom-com movie as we all proceeded to practice our strut down the imaginary catwalk while clapping for each other.
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Image Source: Lauren Levinson
On the show day, I woke up, showered, and did two face masks while I blow-dried my hair. First, I got rid of dead skin cells with the Tata Harper Resurfacing Mask — it's gentle enough to ensure there would be no red-faced aftermath. I followed it with a hydrating sheet mask by Leaders. Throwing my beige heels in my bag, I ran out the door to the Mercedes-Benz showroom.
It looked like a typical backstage, with a team from New York Institute of Beauty heading up the glam squad. Our own Jessica Cruel was even there interviewing the role models. Each model was allowed to choose a hair and makeup look inspired by our personal style, so I went with glossy beach waves and a power-pink pout.
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Image Source: Lauren Levinson
Once we had our faces on, we did two run-throughs, during which we lined up in order and executed the entire runway with music. After the first round, I snuck out to watch the other women. Perhaps it really hadn't hit me until that moment how monumental this all was — proving that real women of all body shapes, ethnicities, and ages could be fashion models — but I was overwhelmed with emotion. Tears stung my eyes (thank god we hadn't applied my faux lashes yet). I felt incredibly proud to be a part of this influential group.
Before I knew it, the house was full, and the role models were backstage dancing to keep their energy up. Meryl Davis and I chatted about preperformance nerves. As a Dancing With the Stars champ and Olympic ice skater, she seemed like the obvious pick for advice. She told me a sports therapist explained that nerves are a good thing — they're your body's way of preparing for the performance. So I did my best to bottle my energy and use it as stage mojo.
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Image Source: Carrie Hammer
Eventually my name and job title were displayed across the board — it was go time! I flashed my biggest smile, threw my shoulders back, and walked out in front of the crowd. The butterflies in my stomach were further settled knowing my father and boyfriend were sitting in the audience, cheering me on (even if I were to fall and become fashion roadkill). Thankfully I made it to one end and back without tripping and remembered to hold my pose for the necessary three seconds (you're welcome, Carrie!).
After the show, Carrie huddled us together and brought us to the press line. It was the first time I was ever on the other side of the step-and-repeat — and it was flattering that reporters actually wanted to interview me. Once the press portion was done, it was time to return my dress, wipe off my makeup, and head back to the office (it was still New York Fashion Week, so I had tons of work to do!). Later that night, we all met again for the official Carrie Hammer afterparty, where I could hang out with the role models once the pressure was off!
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Image Source: Lauren Levinson
The next day, business proceeded as usual. Though I was still on my stage high, I put my usual backstage NYFW outfit on and continued my work as a reporter and editor, letting the real models do the catwalking. While IMG probably won't be calling me any time soon for a gig, I am still left with memories, a newfound confidence, and added Facebook friends who are pretty damn accomplished.
A week ago, Carrie sent me this email that said, "It's so wonderful to see how far we've come (and to know how far we've got to go!). See you at the top babe!!!"
