"I feel closest to my Blackness when I love my hair. Because I have lighter skin and people often misjudge my race and ethnicity, my hair has become the means for other Black people to identify me as a part of the community. I was often mistaken for white when I was younger and I honestly believe it's because I didn't allow my hair to play a huge role in my day-to-day appearance.
I didn't wear my hair down in high school because it would attract so much attention. People would stare, comment, compare it to odd things — I felt like an exhibit. I almost always wore it up, and I didn't realize how much my hair meant to me until I didn't have it anymore.
After high school graduation, I dyed my hair blonde and it absolutely destroyed my curl pattern. I had been growing my hair for three years, and once it was gone I just wanted it back. I started to wear it down more, but it wasn't until I got to college that I felt my hair took up just the right amount of space in my life.
Growing up I felt out of touch with my hair. People would always tell me how beautiful it was, mostly other people of color. I wanted my hair to be straight so badly.
After the bleach damage, I grew my hair out and then chopped it off. Now, I wear my hair down almost daily basis and people celebrate it, rather than exoticize it. Once I stopped feeling like my hair made me a target for offensive comments and questions, it took up the right amount of space in my life. I was no longer ashamed of my hair and felt like I could embrace it."
