Lady Gaga might seem like she's at the top of her game thanks to a new hit album and her recent performances at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, but she's also struggling with PTSD. The "Million Reasons" singer first opened up about her diagnosis on a recent episode of the Today show, and on Tuesday she penned an emotional open letter about what she's going through on the website for her Born This Way foundation. She begins the essay by saying she's spent the last five years wrestling with whether or not she should share her story, because "there is a lot of shame attached to mental illness, but it's important that you know that there is hope and a chance for recovery."
"It is a daily effort for me, even during this album cycle, to regulate my nervous system so that I don't panic over circumstances that to many would seem like normal life situations," she wrote. "Examples are leaving the house or being touched by strangers who simply want to share their enthusiasm for my music." Gaga also revealed the root of her trauma, which is connected to the serious hip injury she suffered during the Born This Way Ball. "That moment and the memory of it has changed my life forever. The experience of performing night after night in mental and physical pain ingrained in me a trauma that I relive when I see or hear things that remind me of those days."
Although she makes it clear that her problems are far from over, there's an overwhelming sense of resilience in her words, which should come as no surprise to longtime fans of her music. "I am a strong and powerful woman who is aware of the love I have around me from my team, my family and friends, my doctors and from my incredible fans who I know will never give up on me. I will never give up on my dreams of art and music. I am continuing to learn how to transcend this because I know I can," she said. "Kind words . . . positive words . . . words that help people who feel ashamed of an invisible illness to overcome their shame and feel free. This is how I and we can begin to heal. I am starting today, because secrets keep you sick. And I don't want to keep this secret anymore."