Let me start out by saying I was thoroughly entertained by Crimson Peak. Guillermo del Toro's stylistic horror movie is creepy — but not too scary if you're just in it for the eye candy — and filled with jaw-dropping costumes and scenery. The ghosts are visually stunning, the cast (Mia Wasikowska, Tom Hiddleston, Jessica Chastain, and Charlie Hunnam) is amazing, and the story is compelling, but there's something missing. Actually, there's a lot missing. The movie is about a young woman (Wasikowska) who marries a mysterious suitor (Hiddleston) and moves into his old mansion. His freaky sister (Chastain) and a bunch of ghosts also happen to live there. Here are all the questions we had after watching the movie. Warning: this post is full of spoilers and will make the most sense after you've seen the movie.
1. How does the ghost of Edith's (Wasikowska) mom know the future?
2. Is this a movie in which ghosts can tell the future?
3. How could she have heard "Beware of Crimson Peak" and literally never be wary of Crimson Peak?!
4. Why is Charlie "Sexpot" Hunnam playing Dr. McMichael, the unwanted best friend?
5. Why is Edith not even kind of suspicious of Thomas (Hiddleston) and Lucille (Chastain)?
6. Especially Lucille, who almost literally radiates evil?
7. How does anyone believe that a slippery floor results in a violently caved-in skull?
8. Why is Edith so surprised that her dead father is cold?
9. Is this a world in which dead people are not usually cold?
10. Why is debris constantly falling into the hole in Allerdale Hall?
11. Like, are they leaves?
12. If so, where are the trees?
13. Why has no one even tried to spruce up that mansion?
14. How does Edith conveniently find wax recordings (the damning evidence she needs) in a house so large that the owner doesn't even know how many rooms there are?
15. Isn't it also a bit too obvious that the wax recordings are of her husband's now-deceased previous wives spelling out for her that Thomas and Lucille poisoned them?
16. How, at this point, is Edith still not sure what's going on?
17. Why does she continue to eat and drink the food they give her after she knows they're poisoning it?
18. How does Dr. McMichael not bleed out almost immediately from that arterial stab wound?
19. Did they even try to make that ghost look like Tom Hiddleston?
20. Wouldn't it make more sense, story-wise, if a ghost kills Jessica Chastain?
21. Are we supposed to feel bad for Thomas even though he's been complicit in murdering women while having sex with his sister on the side?
22. Seriously, how did Charlie Hunnam get this role?