Neil Patrick Harris Really Busted Out the Dad Jokes For the Oscars

"This next presenter is so lovely, you could eat her up with her spoon!" — Introducing Reese Witherspoon

"He won an Oscar. Bum ba dum dum dum dum dum." — To the tune of the Farmers jingle when J.K. Simmons won

"Tonight we are honoring the best and whitest — sorry, brightest!" — Joking about the lack of diversity among the nominees

"She's also the reason you had to explain to your grandma what a 'spanking bench' is." — Trying to make a Fifty Shades of Grey joke about Dakota Johnson

"Welcome back to the Oscars, or as I like to think of them, the Dependent Spirit Awards." — Making a reference to the Independent Spirit Awards

"He's the real deal, pants down. Hands down. Did I say pants down?" — On Channing Tatum

"We starred in Gone Girl, originally titled 'Bitches Be Trippin', Yo.'" — Introducing Ben Affleck