It is a Star Wars truth universally acknowledged that any real fan of the franchise has at least a few issues with the critically disastrous prequel trilogy: Episode I — The Phantom Menace, Episode II — Attack of the Clones, and Episode III — Revenge of the Sith. The three films, which came out between 1999 and 2005, feature dull storylines, Jar Jar Binks, and Midi-chlorians, among other sins. For the aforementioned reasons ( and many more), they fell far, far short of George Lucas's original movies.
Fortunately J.J. Abrams's Star Wars: The Force Awakens appeared to rectify the damage done by the prequels when it premiered in 2015. It blessed us with a fresh new storyline — OK, not that new if you've seen A New Hope — and an exciting cast of characters that made us forget all about Nute Gunray. Now that its sequel, Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi, has arrived, the reception has been much more mixed. In fact, the backlash has been so intense that over 53,000 fans have even started a petition to wipe the film from canon altogether.
In defense of The Last Jedi, Jesse McLaren hopped on Twitter to put riled up fans in their place with one hilarious thread. Do you guys even remember just how bad some of the plot points in Episode I, II, and III really were?! Let him remind you.
Oh no! Your Star Wars had some “inconsistencies”? So sad.— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
Listen here motherfucker. I saw Episode 1-3 in theaters. I sat through shit you couldn’t imagine. Jar-Jar Binks. BackFlipping Yoda. Midichloreans. Space diners. That’s right, a FUCKING SPACE DINER. AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE-
No, this isn’t a screenshot from a 1998 PC game that came in a cereal box. This shit was what I had to sit through. You get beautiful, imaginative fight sequences on salt sprinkled red planets. I got space diner. Go fuck yourself. pic.twitter.com/8XVKLsvKnI— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
Aww, you didn’t get enough Luke Skywalker as you wanted??? So sad! You bastards, I sat through 9 hours spread out over the better part of a decade to see Darth Vader and when he finally showed up he basically only said one word. pic.twitter.com/7phFJzxSO5— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
You thought the bad guy was too two dimensional and **SPOILER** got disappointingly sabered in half before we could learn more about him? OH GEE. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT THAT’S LIKE. pic.twitter.com/3xLzQWquJP— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
What’s that? Carrie Fisher shouldn’t have been able to survive in space? Yeah I guess that is unrealistic. Especially when you consider HER MOTHER DIED WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG AND HEALTHY BECAUSE SHE WAS IN A SHITTY MOOD ONCE. pic.twitter.com/exQQi07bvC— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
YOU ALL THINK IM JOKING. A DUDE WITH ANTENNA TRIED TO SELL OBI-WAN KENOBI SOME COKE. THAT HAPPENED AND I PAID MONEY TO WATCH. REAL MONEY. pic.twitter.com/xlfRz1iWCp— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
You all sicken me. pic.twitter.com/9YCpCON3gD— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
Oh god, I've upset the corner of the internet that loves the prequels, may the force be with me. pic.twitter.com/cueqzWyUsT— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017