Tina and Amy's Best Jokes From the Golden Globes

"Tyler Perry was so good in Gone Girl that he was asked to write a sequel called Girl I Thought You Were Gone." — Tina, on Tyler Perry's empire of films

"Who knows? Maybe you're about to get Cecil B. DeBurnt." — Amy, reminding everyone that Clooney has played a lot of practical jokes over the years

"Our next presenter is known by only one name, Winfrey!" — Tina, calling out Oprah

"It took me three hours today to prepare for my role as a human woman." —Tina, taking a shot at herself

"As Matthew McConaughey calls him, Just Keep Simmons." — Amy, poking fun at McConaughey's catchphrase/clothing line, Just Keep Livin'

"She did all of her own walking, which was great. Andy Serkis was great as her backpack." — Amy, joking about Reese Witherspoon and Wild

"Oprah Winfrey is here. She actually put a cranberry candle under all of your seats." — Tina, wishing the Golden Globes was an episode of Oprah

"And Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby." — Amy, joking about Into the Woods

"George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Anna regarding Syria, and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight . . . her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award." —Tina, calling George Clooney a trophy husband

"It's about the Civil Rights Movement that totally worked and now everything is fine." — Tina, talking about Selma

"In fact, one of those 'Big Eyes' paintings is on display tonight." — Amy, right before the camera flashes to Emma Stone

"Tonight we celebrate all the great shows that we love, as well as the movies that North Korea was OK with." — Tina, poking fun at the Interview scandal