Girls Forecast: Where I See Hannah, Marnie, Shoshanna, and Jessa in Their 30s

Shoshanna realized she'd made a huge mistake getting engaged soon after her engagement party. She thought getting married meant she was figuring out this whole adult thing, but it turned out they barely knew each other after all. Her fiancé didn't share Shosh's life dream of making it into The New York Times's engagement announcement section, and he was never quite able to decipher her 90 mph sentences, either. She told him they literally didn't speak the same language and broke it off.

Scrapping the whole marriage idea, Shosh decides she's finally going to infiltrate the upper echelon of NYC's girl-boss circle by going to business school (at NYU, obviously). She graduates and strikes it big as an image branding consultant. Now a successful business woman, Shosh has started a series of totally unironic motivational power brunches for the networking women of New York. She's also taken it upon herself to make the term "her-preneur" happen, which feels unlikely.

Oh, and 30-something Shosh has left all sock-bun-adjacent hairstyles behind in her 20s. She's more of a Drybar gal now.

Adam decided he needed to hitchhike around the country to shoot a 15-part documentary on, like, the emptiness of the human experience or something. He didn't invite Jessa to come with him, and she knew it was over between them. (Thank god, because that relationship was the actual worst.)

Instead of having another downward spiral, Jessa channeled her energy into something more positive. She and Laird teamed up to open an unlicensed holistic sex therapy/nude yoga/crystal healing business out of Laird's apartment. They raised his baby together when Caroline took off again and formed a modern family.

Hannah and Jessa realized they're probably the only two people on earth who understand each other, and their friendship slowly pieced back together. Jessa continued to be the only woman in the history of ever who could pull off a furry bikini top as a shirt, and she does so well into her 30s.

Marnie is married to that trainer guy she rendezvoused with over video chat (you know, the one she totally wasn't having a masturbation session with). She decided to lay off Pinterest for this go-around, and there were no flower crowns or mason jars to be seen at her second wedding. She did ask for the "Selena Gomez meets Jesus" look again though, because honestly, that's a pretty genius makeup concept when you think about it. Marnie and her husband live together in New Jersey now, which Marnie spends the better part of her 30s insisting is "the new Brooklyn" to a very skeptical Hannah.

She started studying for the LSAT, but decided that law wouldn't fulfill her creative needs. She's been working part-time at art galleries again, and attending Shosh's power-brunches to figure out her next move.

As for Marnie's music career, she recently performed at her second cousin's wedding in Long Island. Her mom sang all of Desi's parts while wearing a custom "Michaels Sisters" leather jacket, something that annoys Marnie only slightly less since outgrowing her 20s angst.

Hannah eventually wrote a collection of essays detailing her time in New York with Jessa, Marnie, Shosh, Elijah, and even Adam. It includes a 26-page, painfully detailed account of that time she jammed a Q-tip regrettably far into her eardrum but has absolutely no mention of that time she tried to go down on Ray while he was driving. See? She's learned to filter herself a teeny tiny bit. She sent the manuscript to publishers, but rejected all of the editors' revisions and eventually just published the whole thing on Medium herself, like a real millennial.

Hannah hung onto that job — which, honestly, I'm still totally confused about how she landed it in the first place, since she was super unqualified for it — and visits Jessa in Brooklyn every now and then to remember what life used to be like. She met a guy who is less judgmental than Fran but more sane than Adam at one of Jessa's nude yoga classes. He moved out of the city to live with her and Grover, and she knew he was the one when he read all of her essays and told her she's the voice of her generation, something she'd known all along to be true.