Not to Sound Witchy, but a Modern Hocus Pocus Is a Recipe For Disaster

I fully believe that making a big deal out of virginity is a harmful social construct, but there's no denying that it's central to the plot of Hocus Pocus. The idea of an 8-year-old teasing her big brother about his lack of a sex life in a 2018 Disney Channel movie is laughable — so how will they pull of the whole "virgin lighting the candle" storyline in the remake? Without the freedom to poke fun at Max for the virginity that he tries to hide with machismo, the entire story breaks down . . . and there's no way that Disney's child-friendly ratings system will allow for that nowadays.

The moral of Hocus Pocus is virgins are lame and they suck and if you're a virgin you might cause witches to murder your town

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) September 28, 2017