Sue Anne Pretending She Has Pancreatic Cancer to Gain Sympathy
Listen, I know Sue Anne is the one who's out here drugging teenagers and luring them into her basement lair, but it really must be said that Haley and Chaz are giant assh*les. Haley not only rudely tells Sue Anne to her face that she needs to "get a man," but she also goes on Snapchat to send a video message telling everyone how crazy Sue Anne is and to blacklist her . . . including Sue Anne. (Her reaction to seeing this video while getting a pedicure is truly a glorious moment in cinematic history.) Shortly after meeting Sue Anne, Chaz gets about one inch away from her face and loudly repeats how much of a loser she is and that she doesn't even "want to be cool." Anyway.
After Haley tries to oust Sue Anne from the group, she lures them out of town for a two-minute in-person conversation where she claims she has pancreatic cancer, which is why she's been acting so strange lately. Because everyone knows typical symptoms of cancer include hitting on teenagers, stealing their jewelry, running people over, and injecting your own child with dangerous medicine! But I digress.