Many mothers long to be spoiled on Mother's Day — as we should be. Some of us want to be surprised with a sparkly necklace or designer purse, but a lot of us are left with another "#1 Mom" mug to add to the pile (it was sweet the first time, but when I can make a mug mountain as high as the ceiling, maybe it's time to switch gears). Most of our partners really try to make Mother's Day special, but, bless them, they often fall short of our expectations. Don't tell, but I always return my husband's Mother's Day gift attempts.
Finding something in the middle of simple and straight-up crazy can be tricky for my husband. Usually, his gifts near the side of crazy.
Look, I don't need fancy things to make me happy. I love homemade gifts from my kids and sentimental things you can't buy, but when it comes to gifts from my husband, is it too much to ask to get something I really want on the one day my hard work as a mom is celebrated? No, it's not. Life is too short to be stuck with a sh*tty gift. I take it upon myself to keep that tag on, drive to the store, and exchange it for something I really want. And yes, I know I should cut my husband some slack. His job isn't easy, as my style and taste is a tad eclectic, so finding something in the middle of simple and straight-up crazy can be tricky for him. Usually, his gifts near the side of crazy.
Just last Mother's Day, I had to do the fake smile thing after opening my gift (I like to think I've made it more convincing over the years). I slid my fingers underneath the flower wrapping paper and opened the box, and there sat a folded neon paisley dress. "It can be a skirt, too. See, it's multifunctional!" my husband said. He was so damn excited. I forced the corners of my lips upward — putting on an Oscar-worthy performance (in my opinion) of a happy, gift-getting mother. And I know he worked so hard on finding that gift. "Try it on," he said. Oh boy, sh*t got more real.
I went to the bedroom and tried on the dress that was too big surrounding my deflated, postkids boobs. I walked out, feeling more annoyed than I probably should have been. "Stunning," my husband said. "You look beautiful." "Thank you," I said back, knowing I'd never wear the damn thing. Thankfully, he never asked about it. I was able to run to the boutique where he bought it, peruse the aisles, and find something else that fit my taste a little better.
I wonder what he'll go for this Mother's Day. A piece of jewelry maybe? Another outfit? Maybe I'll get lucky and get a gift card. I know I sound like a bit of a b*tch, since it truly is the thought that counts. But if I can take that thought back to the store and get something I'll actually wear instead, that's even better. Every Mother's Day, my husband keeps trying, and maybe one year he'll get it right. But until then, I'll keep dropping hints and taking his missed targets back to the store. I deserve to get what I want, even if it's only once a year.