After having her first child, Constance Hall was pretty overwhelmed. The Australian blogger was finding it hard dealing with one baby and asked her dad how her grandmother possibly managed to do it with 11 kids. Her father's response was simple yet powerful: she wasn't given half of the pressure that moms today are.
"She didn't have to go to the bank, the supermarket everyday, she wasn't expected to look a million bucks straight after birth, she never put pressure on her kids to have reached all of their milestones by the age of three weeks, and have the house clean," Constance wrote on Facebook. "She just hung out with her kids and enjoyed them."
In contrast, Constance looked at how she and fellow women cope with all of the stress they are put under as moms in 2017. "Well, a lot of us don't actually enjoy our kids and we are only half present for them all of the time due to the constant pressure to have everything perfect," she admitted. "To go to the gym, answer that email, pay that bill, cook that organic kale, blend it, get it into a patty so no one knows it's kale, get to the doctors, the washing, gas in the car, color your god d*mn grays, make the kids lunches because if you order them again you will be JUDGED!"
Constance realized that due to all the chaos she was missing out on something more important: time to be present with her children instead of just half-listening to them while preoccupied with something else. Part of what made Constance realize how important it is to block out the other noise when she's with her kids was participating in a simple experiment with other adults.
"We partnered up and told a story; halfway through the story our partners were ordered to stop listening. They looked away, yawned, preoccupied their minds, replied to an email while we were telling them something we believed interesting.
And guess how it made me feel? Boring, embarrassed for not being able to interest anyone, unworthy, and insignificant.
Is that what this busy life is making my kids feel?"
As difficult as it may be each and every day to not let the other burdens get to her, this mom is now focusing on time with her kids and how her stress could be making them feel. "And I'm not going to let outside pressures and 'Super Mom' ideals take that away from me."