These Parents Are Romanticizing Weeknights (Yes, It's Possible)

Weeknights can be a slog, particularly for working parents. I sometimes feel like I'm just knocking out the world's most mundane to-do list: finish work, rush to daycare for pickup, cook something reasonably nutritious that my kids will actually eat, convince them to get in the bath, convince them to get into bed. Then, if I haven't fallen asleep myself while tucking them in, I might get 10 minutes to read a book (or, let's be honest, doomscroll) before I pass out.

In the summer, though, Tuesday nights are different. There's a rooftop park nearby where students from the Berklee College of Music play a weekly free concert from June to August. Some of the musicians are incredibly talented; others are . . . well, not my vibe. Either way, my husband and I can lie back with our infant on the small hill overlooking the stage while our 4-year-old gleefully runs around with whatever other kids her age are there. Every time, I feel this sense of calm wash over my body. It's a rare chance in the middle of the week to relax and do something I legitimately enjoy.

This little weekly reprieve has reminded me that we don't have to wait until the weekend to have fun. Fully taking advantage of family time in the evenings can break up the week, and ease the pressure to fit all the good stuff into Saturday and Sunday. In fact, some parents intentionally romanticize their weeknights to keep their kids — and themselves — from dreading the Monday-to-Friday grind.

"It's become part of our daily habit to try to do something exciting every night," says Marisa Scott, a mom to two boys, ages 2 and 4, in San Diego. Sometimes that's as simple as an evening picnic in the park with a soccer ball or their scooters. Or she'll take her boys to the beach to eat dinner and watch the sunset (and then hose them off right there so they can hop straight into bed once they get home). On other nights, they'll hit up a rock climbing gym or a bowling alley as a family.

Since Scott makes it a point to start and end her workday early, they even do weeknight camping trips at a campground half an hour away. "We'll go at 3:00 or 4:00 p.m. and then be home by 8:30 in the morning," she says.

As daunting as that might sound, Scott says she keeps any midweek events manageable by checking her expectations. "I don't overbuild things in my head," she says. "I know there's probably going to be tears. Someone's going to scream. And if it sucks, we go home early or just do something else."

Other parents prioritize midweek activities that are a bit more low-key — and might even look like something they would have done pre-kids. For instance, Janelle Van Lente and her husband, whose children are 2 and 5 years old, will regularly go to a food hall/brewery, Prescott Market, near their home in Oakland, CA. It has a big fenced-in sandpit with toys and games for the kids and picnic benches all around for the parents.

"We just throw our kids in, sit on the bench, and drink our beer in peace," Van Lente says.

Going there gives the couple a night off from worrying about cooking or cleaning up dishes. But there also isn't the stress over trying to shush their children like they would at a restaurant. "There are lots of kids and everyone's screaming, so you feel at ease," she says.

The Van Lentes sometimes meet up with other families there. It's also where they invite any friends visiting town so they can have an actual adult conversation without constantly getting interrupted or having to hire a babysitter. "It's become our go-to because we know that it works," she says.

With the right approach, even staying at home can turn into a midweek treat. For instance, Scott sometimes makes homemade playdough with her boys after work, having them help her with the cooking process before they get to play. "Things that I think are little can actually be a really big moment for them," she says.

Last winter, my husband started buying bulk packages of glow sticks to embrace (rather than hate) the early dark. At least once a week during the early-sunset season, we'll turn off all the lights after dinner, crack open a few sticks, and blast our dance party playlist. (Darude's "Sandstorm" is typically the biggest hit.)

At her home in Lexington, MA, Danielle Sandahl Urban — a mom of a 7-year-old, 4-year-old, and a newborn — sticks to a casual hangout date with another family every week. They switch off who hosts, and keep the menu simple, like Monday night breakfast for dinner or Wednesday night pizza. "We get to hang out with adult friends, the kids are entertained and wearing themselves out, and it's awesome," she says.

She admits that inviting friends over mid-week initially felt intimidating. "It took me a lot of unlearning in my perception of my own house to allow people to come over in the middle-of-the-week chaos," she says.

She also points out that any kind of weeknight event or activity means bedtime inevitably gets delayed. "For some people, they get a lot of anxiety around that, and it really throws off their week," Sandahl Urban says.

For her, though, the tradeoff is worth it: This simple routine of getting together for dinner once a week has helped her build a community and sustain close adult friendships as a parent.

Scott adds that she knows that in a few years, her boys will be doing sports and other extracurriculars that will eat up their weeknights, making it trickier to pull off fun activities as a family. So in the meantime, she wants to take advantage of any chance she gets to make memories together. "They're only little once, and I work all day long," she says, "so I'm OK sacrificing some things — like if they have a different dinner than I normally would want them to — to spend that time with my kids."

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