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Funny Names Kids Have For Their Genitals

32 Real Moms Share the Hysterical Names Their Kids Call Their Genitals

From front butt and ding dong to fagina and bird, some kids certainly have interesting names for their genitals. Whether you've tried to use proper terminology for male and female anatomy but it got lost in your child's attempts at pronunciation or one of their nicknames for their private parts happened to stick, it's hard not to laugh at some of the funny terms kiddos use instead of penis and vagina. We asked our readers what names their little ones use when referring to their sex organs, and 32 real moms shared some creative — and hysterical! — options that only a child could come up with.

  1. "My two young daughters were arguing over whether their parts were called a 'wee' or 'giney' and I told them they can each call them whatever they'd like. [My 3-year-old] excitedly announced that she would call hers princess purple!" — Tara
  2. "We tried penis but it came out peanut and that just stuck. With our daughter, she began calling hers her front butt." — Laura
  3. "My daughter called it jajay and I'm glad she did. After one of our good touch bad touch talks she looked at some random [guy] at the grocery store and firmly told him 'No, you can't touch my jajay.' He looked at us like we were crazy. Could you imagine if she said vagina? Poor guy was minding his own business looking at pasta sauce." — Starr
  4. "My son calls his balls his turtles." — Alicia
  5. "My little girl started off calling it her tooty fruity, but now it's just tooty. My son calls his, his wing dang doodle." — Kristen
  6. "My youngest got the penis but couldn't pronounce vagina correctly. So one night he told me that I have a paginus!" — Stacie
  7. "Our 2 year old calls a vagina a 'China' and thanks to his father, a penis is a 'Wanga.'" — Emma
  8. "While my children do know the correct names, my daughter switches from punani, front butt, or flower. And my boys? We won't go there." — Emily
  9. "My daughter was taught proper terminology, but said she didn't like those words! So she decided on hoohah and diddly doo!" — Tracy
  10. "We use the medical terms but my son uses the Yiddish word for penis as well, which is Schmeckle. And I have to admit, I find it amusing." — Jessica
  11. "One of my girls, when she was little, used to call her privates fat china." — Christie
  12. "[My friend's] little girl sat down at the table looked right up at me and pointed at my crotch and said, 'You gotta big ol' tootie!'" — Dae
  13. "My daughter calls hers a hoo-ha. She saw [her] dad naked and asked why his was different and just started calling it a wink-wink." — Erika
  14. "My oldest called hers a 'nina' and I'm not sure why. It's kind of awkward because she has a cousin named Nina." — Beth
  15. "My oldest used to call his penis Mr. Pee Pee and when he was potty training, he would get really mad at Mr. Pee Pee for peeing in his pants." — Carissa
  16. "The boys know they have a penis, but they say mom is the only one with a 'Va China.'" — Erin
  17. "When my boys were little they couldn't get the v sound out so it was a fagina until we got the right sound." — Irene
  18. "One of my friends' daughter says 'fine China' instead of vagina.'" — Shelby
  19. "My son dubbed his penis his 'wee wee' a long time ago all on his own ... and he informed me a few months ago that his baby sister has a 'frump' because she's a girl." — Shelby
  20. "My daughters call theirs, their 'lady parts' and my son started calling his a 'binky.' He came up with that name on his own and I don't know why." — Carol
  21. "My boys know the correct term for male and female body parts, but they prefer to call their penis a bird." — Jessica
  22. "We teach him the correct terms but he says 'teenis' and everyone has one, no matter the gender." — Rene
  23. " I have a little girl ... It went from tutu to Tudor. How or why, I have no clue." — Cat
  24. "My son calls his penis his willie winkle." — Valerie
  25. "I teach my 2 and 3-year-old kids that they have private parts, but they call it 'pollyharps.'" — Jessi
  26. "Penis and buh-gina because we haven't gotten the V sound yet." — Natasha
  27. "My daughters call theirs a cookie." — Cynthia
  28. "For boys: Wilk, Mr. Willy, Todger, or Walnut whip and for girls: Minnie, Flange, Snot box, or Moo." — Michelle
  29. "I always taught my daughter to call it vagina but one day she decided to call it her 'pinky.'" — Nicole
  30. "My 4-year-old daughter calls it 'her undercarriage.'" — Liz
  31. "My son called his, Big head Davis" — Erika
  32. "My oldest, Dylan, used to call his his 'little Dylan.'" —MarJorie
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