Welp, kids certainly do say the darnedest things! And lucky for us, they usually decide to share these wise gems out in the open — for all to hear.
One dad learned this all to well and decided to share his hysterical, yet borderline cringeworthy, tale on Reddit. Being the father of a 3-year-old girl, Redditor DarwinianMonkey wasn't fazed by the idea of taking her to the men's room when she had to go potty and her mom wasn't there. But this time, things got awkward when his sweet little one made a rather loud observation.
It was just the two of us in there. I wipe off and cover the seat so she can do her little tinkle... but then I realise I really have to go.
No big deal. I just place her in the corner of the stall and say 'don't move.' I start to pee.
I hear the door to the restroom open, meaning we are now no longer the only two occupants. I hear two guys walk in. As one of the sets of footsteps draw near, my little girl starts to back away from the door and ends up right next to me.
She looks down at what's going on (with an 'open door' policy on the bathroom at home, and her two brothers... it's nothing she hasn't seen before) and loudly exclaims: 'Daddy!! Look at your little penis!!
What... the... I hear the other guys in the bathroom kind of snort... and then let loose in laughter.
First of all... wow. She's never said that before... or since. Second... what is her frame of reference!!??
I didn't know what I could possibly say to make it any better.
I kind of wanted to yell out 'Um…she's just kidding... it's normal size,' but I figured that any remark trying to clarify my size would just come off as creepy.
I just stayed in the stall until the other two guys left. I couldn't face them. I'm sure they were out there in the restaurant watching to see me come out so they could tell their wives about the guy who has a tiny wiener by three-year-old standards!!
Don't worry, dad, we understand!