Funny Things People Say When You're Pregnant

1 "Any day now, eh?"

If by any day you mean, "Still three more months to go," then, yes. Any. Day.

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2 "Were you trying?"

In other words, were you having a lot of casual sex because you really wanted a baby or just because you were really horny and didn't understand exactly how babies are made?

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3 "I thought your boobs would be bigger."

The fact is that we don't all have the same perks of pregnancy. But I did get a ton of morning sickness, so yay for me!

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4 "It's just your hormones."

I'm sorry — I didn't know you and my hormones already knew each other . . .

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5 "You don't even look old enough to be pregnant."

Uh, so are you saying I look 11?

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6 "What if your baby is gay?"

You guys, someone really asked me this. I was just trying to get through those nine months without throwing up in public — my child's pending sexuality was the last thing on my mind. (And for the record, I just want my children to experience love, so whatever that means to them works for me.)

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7 "Are you sure you want to wear that?"

Yes, yes, I am sure. In fact, getting dressed is no easy feat with a growing baby bump, so every outfit is totally planned. And even though I was left wondering how horrible I actually looked, there was no chance of me actually changing.

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8 "Your baby is going to be like three pounds."

OK, I know this one was meant to be a compliment, but the last thing a pregnant mama wants to hear is that her baby is going to be underweight. So excuse me while I call my ob–gyn in a panic — and then go cry myself to sleep.

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9 "You should/shouldn't be doing _______."

And you, dear opinionated bystander, should keep your opinions to yourself and should not be telling me what to do.

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10 "You must be having a girl."

This one cracked me up mainly because I had read all the baby books front to back, which means I was well aware of the old wives' tale that suggests that baby girls steal their mother's beauty. So every time someone said I must be having a girl, I grimaced a little.

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11 "Was everything there?"

I can laugh about it now, but this postultrasound question bugged me big time. We had a little scare with my son (who ended up totally fine, by the way), and so when someone jokingly asked if "Everything was there?" I just about lost it.

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12 "How are you going to handle two?"

Image Source: Flickr user deveion acker

I'm pretty sure I worried about that every day when I was pregnant with my second. So, thank you for bringing up one of my greatest fears.

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13 "You're huge!"

Huge? Really? With all the words to choose from, "huge" is the one you went with?

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14 "You look tired."

That's because I am. Except I kind of thought I was doing a better job at hiding it. So now I'm tired and a tad self-conscious. Awesome.

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