Helping Kids When They Don't Need Help
The 1 Basic Parenting Rule That I Just Can't Seem to Wrap My Head Around
Despite being a reasonable person who is at least of average intelligence, I have struggled with one particular parenting rule ever since my son has been born. It's dumb, but year after year, I keep making this stupid mistake.
Similar to "if it ain't broke, don't fix it," I continue to try to make him more comfortable when he's not uncomfortable. This has led to sleepless nights, frustrated fits, and a bemoaning toddler.
When he was a newborn and an infant, he would constantly acrobat his way into the most awkward positions. His head crooked over like an owl and arm bent behind his back, he always seemed to sleep in a way that no human should be able to. Being the new mother that I was, I assumed that he was uncomfortable at best and risking injury at worst. Doing what any sleep-deprived newbie would do, I moved him, trying to adjust him ever so slightly in hopes that he wouldn't wake up or get flustered.
This, of course, never worked.
Every time I moved him, no matter how careful I had been to not wake the sleeping beast, his eyes would pop open. Then the screaming would start.
So no, it wasn't very smart, but it was a reasonable mistake for a new parent. However, I managed to keep making that mistake. Even now with a 2-year-old, I'm still doing this, except now I'm frustrating a toddler.
The other day he was quietly playing with his blocks, a rarity since he's usually running around and jumping off the walls. I feel a slight chill on my feet, so like the dummy that I am, I assume that he must be cold as well. I spend the next five minutes trying to convince him to put on some slippers. The only thing that gesture did was get him to stop playing independently. I ruined the moment in trying to make him more comfortable.
I'd like to think that I've finally learned my lesson, but honestly, I doubt it. This knee-jerk reaction is what parenting young children is about. I want him to be healthy, comfortable, and safe. I should be willing to put myself in an uncomfortable situation to ensure that he's OK.
What I need to learn is to trust him when he tells me what he wants. He's not an infant anymore, and I shouldn't treat him like one by constantly trying to make him better. After all, if he ain't broke, don't fix him.
