Trying to make new mom friends can feel a bit like trying to pick up someone for a first date. It's intimidating and awkward, especially if you're looking to strike up a conversation with that mom who seems to have it all together while you, well, don't (newsflash: she probably doesn't either). But an essential part of being a mom is having a mom tribe you can rely on. It isn't always easy, but in the common grounds of parks, coffee shops, grocery stores, and school pickup, there are plenty of things you can talk about to score a mom date (aka a much-needed venting session). Get creative, comical, or relatable with these pickup lines, but just remember to be yourself. Moms will see it, and you'll click instantly.
The Casual Conversation
- If you see a mom with a tot who looks to be around the same age as your little one, try asking, "How old is she/he?" If they're in the same age range as you thought, that's your in.
- Spotted — a new mom you haven't seen at your local park before. Ask if she comes here often, and if she doesn't, ask her where she usually goes since you're always looking for more parks to explore. Chances are you'll set up a play date!
- Out and about during the typical 9-to-5 work hours? If you run into another mama who sparks your interest (i.e. looks super cool, is drinking a cup of coffee at your favorite cafe, or playing with their little one), approach her and see if your situations are similar. "Your child is so cute. Do you stay at home with him/her?" If she says yes and you are in the same boat, invite her over for coffee or suggest meeting at a fun cafe. It could turn into a weekly play date/gab fest.
Lift Them Up With a Compliment
- Compliment mom: "I love your shirt, you look so chic! I feel like I wear the same shirt every day." Chances are they probably are wearing the same favorite shirt almost every day as most of us moms do, and she will feel awesome that someone didn't notice.
- Compliment mom's kid: "Oh my gosh. Her shoes are awesome. Where did you get those?" If she answers with, "At a secondhand shop," grab her and don't let her go. She's a keeper.
- Ask her about a baby item she has that you love. "I've always wanted a carrier like that, do you like it?" Moms love to give advice but don't love to get it, when unsolicited, so she will be psyched to share.
- Compliment her well-behaved kids. "Your little one is so well-behaved and happy. How do you get him/her to listen?" She very well may have no idea what you're talking about and think the opposite, but she'll surely be happy that you think she's doing a good job.
- Sarcasm. If sarcasm doesn't work, then you may not want this mama on your tribe. When your kiddos are running around and yelling with excitement, just whisper, "Wine is totally acceptable before noon, right?"
- "Do you have any raisins? How about a mom date?"
- "Do I look as tired as I feel? Because I feel like Sleeping Beauty, the princess my daughter was obsessed with for approximately two seconds, has nothing on me."
- "Are you Wonder Woman? Because I've been wondering how you look so put together, woman."
- Get serious. "We should meet up sometime for some adult conversation that our kids will definitely interrupt."
- See a mom who is snapping photos? "Is your phone low on space because of thousands of kid photos, too? I feel like my phone judges me with the constant 'Storage Is Full' notifications."
- Coffee. Talk about coffee, aka mom fuel. Enough said.
- Try the loaded question that sparks up conversation: "Get any sleep last night?"
- Keep it real. "Making friends as a mom is tough, huh? Do you have a group? Maybe we should get a bunch of us together."