Kids Are the Best Thing Ever

1 Their hugs are just too tiny.

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It's like being cheated out of a full hug, like, come on.

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2 Pint-size laundry is really hard to fold.

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Gosh, kid, your clothes are so small — and so cute to look at — I can't make perfect squares out of them.

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3 You will run out of phone storage every single day.

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Why are kids so dang photogenic? Ugh.

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4 You give up all of your free time because you can't stand being away from them.

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"Are you free next week?"
"No, I'll be staring lovingly at my baby, sorry."

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5 Baby clothes are so much cuter than your own.

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Choosing what you want your kid to wear every day is going to be such a hard decision — and not having what they have in your size is going to make you sad.

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6 You will be so distracted by the urge to kiss and snuggle your baby, you will always forget things.

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"Why did I even come into the kitchen? Oh well, snuggle time."

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7 People will constantly compliment you on how cute your baby is wherever you go.

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And it's like, hey, I'm just trying to grocery shop with my adorable child. Can you give us some space?

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8 You'll have so many thank-you notes to write because of all the gift giving.

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And you'll just have to suck it up and be really polite about people loving you and your baby enough to give you presents.

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9 Gazing into your baby's eyes will make you feel too emotional.

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So now you have to buy a lot more tissues than you used to, which is so annoying.

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10 The urge to watch your baby sleep will totally take away from your precious hours of slumber.

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Stop being so cute and giving me joy, I'm tired!

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11 Your baby will smell so great that you'll be jealous.

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Why the heck don't they make "newborn baby smell" perfume?!

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12 You'll make tons of new parent friends.

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Now you have too many options for people with shared interests to make plans with.

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13 Kid kisses are so affectionate and drooly.

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Yuck.

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14 As your kid starts to develop their personality, you'll see you and your partner in them.

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Oh my gosh, stop copying me, kid!

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15 As your kid starts to develop their personality, you'll see traits that are totally their own.

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Oh my gosh, stop being so cool and trendy, kid!

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16 Baby toes are just too cute, it makes you forget about your foot phobia.

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But I hate feet, stop making me question my beliefs!

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17 You will hate when you leave them alone for the first time.

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Now I'm sad that you're gone and I can't hang out with you; thanks, kiddo.

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18 You have to get used to being called "Mom" or "Dad" all the time.

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I spent all my life responding to my name, and now I have a new one — so disorienting.

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19 You will think your baby is the most perfect baby in the world.

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Now you're biased and sad that all other children will not seem as cute anymore.

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