"Being a modern parent is terrible," starts Bunmi Laditan, a mom the internet frequently looks to when they want to keep things real and relatable. "I'd give my left tit to have parented in the '70s or '80s when all you had to do to be considered a good mom is to remember to wind down the windows when you smoke in the car." In a post to her Facebook page, Bunmi continues her rant against the stress that is modern parenting.
Do you know what I've been doing this morning? VITAMIN SHOPPING. For 45 minutes I've been comparing children's vitamins . . . I'd been buying my kids' vitamins at the same place I purchase extension cords and wine coolers, but recently heard that the Disney Pixar Cars gummy vitamins are sugary trash that cause leprosy and ADHD, so now I'm on the market.
Someone told me my kids need fish oils that cost $60. The closest thing I had to fish oils as a child was whatever the Gorton's fisherman caught, breaded, and fried. . . . Now I'm about to spend an electricity bill on vitamins because in 2016 you don't really love your kids if you're not a paranoid mess about their physical well being . . .
Bunmi continues, outlining some of the differences between her childhood and the one she feels she needs to give to her kids due to the nature of modern parenting — especially when other moms seem to be directly pressuring her. "Nothing about modern parenting is simple, and it irritates me. I've seen the way some parents look at me when I give my son a juice box at the park. It's juice, not Red Bull or margarita mix, so calm down, Jackie. Yes, I said your name."
Although she starts on the subject of vitamins, she finishes her post on a completely different note, because another component of modern parenting is that it never, ever ends. "If you need me, I'll be in front of my computer crying bitter tears and searching for phthalate-free bubble bath. I don't even know what a phthalate is."
Neither do we, Bunmi. Neither do we.