What Summer Is Really Like For a Special Needs Mom

I remember being 20-something and loving Summer. It was carefree and fun. Vacations were for sleeping in, relaxing on the beach or taking a dip in the pool, and grilling up some delicious food.

But thinking back, I didn't really appreciate those days. Well, not until now! I had no idea how much children would change my view of Summer. Don't get me wrong: I still love it; it's just a very different experience with two kids (especially one with autism).

Days are long and hot. My son with autism won't wear sandals, hates being wet (there is a lot of stripping going on!), and, in a recent development, doesn't like to wear any shirts thanks to the tight swim tops that I've made him wear to protect his fair skin. Oh, and food from the grill; why would I give either of my children anything charred?

The beach this year was a huge accomplishment. My son with autism stepped on the sand, walked around (barefoot!), went knee-deep in the water, climbed rocks, and then 10 minutes later, left the beach. He clearly did not see what all the fuss was about, but returned each day for his mini routine to keep us happy. This meant my husband and I took turns going to the beach with our other son while we went on walks or visited the trampoline park (which is dangerous and awesome at the same time!). Our family beach vacation was wonderful, just different.

Next up, swimming. We belong to our town pool. In the past it was too crowded and overwhelming for my son with autism, but this year, he loves it. I can't tell you how huge this is for our family. We actually have a place that makes everyone happy. He doesn't swim, but he loves being in the water.

I get in and hold him (even when it's chilly) just to see him smile. He also loves the diving board. He doesn't jump off, just stands next to it and claps for all of the jumpers. The lifeguards are used to us standing around and cheering everyone on, even if other members don't really "get it." The place also has a snack stand and serves french fries, his favorite. Sure he takes a few too many trips there and has been known to steal fries from other kids while I run around like a lunatic in my bathing suit, but it is worth it. Pool time is great, just different.

Summer is also the time of year when services slow down for my autistic son. His school program gets shorter and stops at the end of July. Come August, we are on our own. So if you have a friend that has a special-needs child, you better invite her for lunch (or cocktails!) in August because SHE. NEEDS. IT! My son thrives on structure and this is a month of antistructure. Everyone deserves a break, especially hardworking teachers; but moms everywhere are counting down the days until they get back to work with our kids again. We need them.

For me, Summer is awesome, just different. I'm thankful for the extra time and special moments with my kids, but I'll forever long for those simple Summer days of my youth.