Why Halloween Is the Worst For Parents

1 Feeling Inadequate by Your Level of Halloween Spirit

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim

And by the looks of your neighbor's Fall-themed front porch, the Pinterest-shaming starts in early September.

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2 Spending 75+ hours hand-crafting a DIY costume only to have them want something completely different the day of Halloween.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Arturo Torres
Product Credit: Pottery Barn Kids Costumes

Their pouty, verging-on-meltdown faces in photos will make for some really great family memories some day.

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3 Having neighbors who've turned their yard into a terrifying graveyard that gives your kid panic attacks for a month straight.

Image Source: Flickr user Boogeyman13

Or maybe that house is just actually haunted?

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4 Accurately predicting the emergency room fees you'll incur from whatever pumpkin carving accident is about to take place.

Image Source: Flickr user Ryan Victory

Whether it's you or one of the kids, someone is definitely stabbing themselves with that bendy-yet-piercingly sharp miniature saw utensil.

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5 The "is my kid about to touch a black recluse or just a plastic spider ring?" question.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim

At some point, you just give up and hope someone will have a venom antidote handy.

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6 Worrying how much of your kids' trick-or-treating bounty is actually poison.

Image Source: Flickr user ppdiaporama

There's bound to be a razor blade in this pile somewhere, right?

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7 Having to ration your kids' candy intake until you finally say "f*ck it" and just let them go to town.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Arturo Torres
Product Credit: Pottery Barn Kids Costumes

It's a great goal to try to prevent childhood diabetes and cavities, but we get it: you're up against impossible odds.

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8 Having to ration your kids' candy . . . with yourself.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Blake Smith

No, it's cool. You didn't just spend all Summer losing those last 10 pounds to succumb to stealing your child's candy and secretly scarfing it all while hiding in your closet.

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9 The overabundance of clowns.

Image Source: Flickr user Shawn Tron

You don't want to pass on your clown-fearing complex to your kids, but it's hard not to shriek at the sight of one.

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10 Watching your hard work be ruined within five minutes.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Arturo Torres

You put the final touches onto their costume, take a moment to metaphorically pat yourself on the back, turn to grab your camera, and then look back to discover they've somehow ripped, stained, and smeared everything that could be ripped, stained, or smeared.

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11 Being made to deal with kids who don’t even belong to you.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sheila Gim

The middle-schooler who just grabbed two handfuls of candy from your bowl? The bratty tween who isn't even wearing a costume and asking if these full-size chocolate bars are the only options? The toddler who just vomited from a sugar overdose on your front porch? Yeah, there's nothing you can do about any of it.

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12 People in masks walking in close proximity to your children.

Image Source: Flickr user Nathan Rupert

A fellow trick-or-treater or a deranged child-kidnapper who can now hide in plain sight?

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13 Having to pretend you're not home because you forgot to stock up on candy.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Arturo Torres
Product Credit: Pottery Barn Kids Costumes

Better to sit silently in the dark until sunrise than be the person on the block handing out carrot sticks and loose change.

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