My 2-year-old says the F-word. I'm quick to blame my husband for this, who, when he stubs his toe or steps on a toy, can't help but shout "F*****CK!" Sure, I say it, too, but I've always felt like I was outsmarting my kids by embedding it in a sentence. For example: "I can't believe this f*cking thing happened" or "I am not f*cking doing that!"
Whichever one of us inspired our daughter to start correctly using the curse word when she breaks a crayon or drops her pasta on the floor, it's clear that we need to figure out a new way to use our favorite expletive without our foul-mouthed kiddo catching wise.
Enter: Ashton Kutcher. He appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon this week, and while sharing a funny story about attending Adele's themed birthday party, I noticed the rather clever way he censored himself.
"Who the — throws a 1970s New Year's birthday party?" Ashton quipped, having taken a noticeable pause where an F-bomb would typically be.
Jimmy, too, noticed his clever way of averting a network TV flub: "I love that you just censored yourself by . . . no one's ever done that!"
Ashton responded with "I have children!"
Then, the two proved how well this clever pause can work.
Jimmy: "That was amazing. I've never seen anyone —ing do that, ever!"
Ashton: "Oh my God, you don't —ing do that with the kids?"
Jimmy: "I don't —ing do that ever!"
Ashton: "I mean, this — is crazy!"
To see this amazing workaround in action, watch at the 1:05 mark. I'll be practicing it at bedtime tonight, I —ing swear.