19 Totally Legitimate Reasons You Should Never, Ever Have Kids

Updated on 6/10/2015 at 4:03 PM

If you were at all unsure over how you felt about having kids before now, we have 19 totally legitimate reasons you never, ever should. Seriously, just don't.

Their hugs are just too tiny.

It's like being cheated out of a full hug, like, come on.

Pint-size laundry is really hard to fold.

Gosh, kid, your clothes are so small — and so cute to look at — I can't make perfect squares out of them.

You will run out of phone storage every single day.

Why are kids so dang photogenic? Ugh.

You give up all of your free time because you can't stand being away from them.

"Are you free next week?"
"No, I'll be staring lovingly at my baby, sorry."

Baby clothes are so much cuter than your own.

Choosing what you want your kid to wear every day is going to be such a hard decision — and not having what they have in your size is going to make you sad.

You will be so distracted by the urge to kiss and snuggle your baby, you will always forget things.

"Why did I even come into the kitchen? Oh well, snuggle time."

People will constantly compliment you on how cute your baby is wherever you go.

And it's like, hey, I'm just trying to grocery shop with my adorable child. Can you give us some space?

You'll have so many thank-you notes to write because of all the gift giving.

And you'll just have to suck it up and be really polite about people loving you and your baby enough to give you presents.

Gazing into your baby's eyes will make you feel too emotional.

So now you have to buy a lot more tissues than you used to, which is so annoying.

The urge to watch your baby sleep will totally take away from your precious hours of slumber.

Stop being so cute and giving me joy, I'm tired!

Your baby will smell so great that you'll be jealous.

Why the heck don't they make "newborn baby smell" perfume?!

You'll make tons of new parent friends.

Now you have too many options for people with shared interests to make plans with.

Kid kisses are so affectionate and drooly.

Yuck.

As your kid starts to develop their personality, you'll see you and your partner in them.

Oh my gosh, stop copying me, kid!

As your kid starts to develop their personality, you'll see traits that are totally their own.

Oh my gosh, stop being so cool and trendy, kid!

Baby toes are just too cute, it makes you forget about your foot phobia.

But I hate feet, stop making me question my beliefs!

You will hate when you leave them alone for the first time.

Now I'm sad that you're gone and I can't hang out with you; thanks, kiddo.

You have to get used to being called "Mom" or "Dad" all the time.

I spent all my life responding to my name, and now I have a new one — so disorienting.

You will think your baby is the most perfect baby in the world.

Now you're biased and sad that all other children will not seem as cute anymore.

Parenting Humor