Rule number two in Hofmann's contract states that mom will always know the password to the phone, but that's only the beginning of the monitoring process.
"I don’t think a 10, 11, 12-year-old needs a whole bunch of privacy and a whole world to themselves that a parent can’t access," Hofmann says. "The way I use it in the book is that when we were growing up, we might have put a keep out sign on our door, but that didn’t mean our parents could never enter the room."
For elementary school students who have their own devices, Hofmann suggests sitting down with them and using the device with them. If they want to join Instagram, do it together. Scroll through their feeds and discuss what they're seeing — what's appropriate and what isn't. In doing so, you lay the foundation for them to gain more independence as they mature.
For older kids — tweens and teens — Hofmann suggests keeping tabs on your child's online and phone life, just as you would if the phone didn't exist. You'll want to know how they're hanging out with online, who they speak to/text with, where they're going, who's going to be there, etc.
"While we might not sit down with our teenagers in the living room and listen to every conversation they have in person, we still have an idea of what their interests are, where they hang out," she says. "So we want to have that same sense of being in tune online — what apps do they like, what social networks do they like, who are they interacting with."
