In this stage, your teen may go through some big changes. On the tails of puberty and potentially having first crushes in middle school, there could be a lot going on for your teen as they enter high school. Whether they're curious about relationships or are already involved with their first love, this is the time to bring up some of the bigger topics you may have been avoiding until it felt more age-appropriate.
Here's what to talk about with your teenager:
- "IT." Ahhh, sex. This is the one, the big enchilada — the thing your kid likely wants to know more about and potentially explore. Be direct with your child about all of this — explain what happens during sex, how it works, and what the consequences can be (more below).
- STDs. Discuss with your teens the good, the bad, and the ugly. You can go the scientific route and image search what STDs look like, but it's most important here to explain why using protection is so important (even if it's "just oral"). This is where you might be moved to announce, "No glove, no love," while your teen's eyes roll into the back of their head and you cringe so hard you think you broke a rib. All jokes aside, this is all super important information your teen needs to have as they become independent and begin making many of their decisions without your input.
- Pregnancy. If you're a person who's given birth, it can be helpful to talk about pregnancy from your point of view — how it felt, what it meant, how difficult labor was. But in general, talking to teens about pregnancy should include discussing the different stages a person's body goes through and what it could feel like going through labor. Talking about it openly first is a good way to ease them in, then you can go into the ins and outs of how life would change for them if they were to get pregnant. And don't forget to mention contraception — encourage them to come to you (or another adult you both trust) for help getting some when the time comes.
- Peer pressure. Even if your teen still isn't too openly curious about sex, you have to factor in the different stages that all of their classmates will be in throughout high school. Have an open and deeper discussion with them about consent — they do not have to do anything they don't want to do or that they feel like they're being forced into doing. They may get made fun of or they might feel embarrassed, but that can all be overcome in time — urge to them that it's never worth doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable even if it feels like their social status depends on it (real friends won't make you do things you don't want to!).
