20 Simple Ways to Be a Better Mom in 2018

While everyone fights over the "right" amount of screen time kids should be allowed, most parents aren't considering how much time they spend on their own devices and the fact that their kids certainly notice when their mom or dad is paying attention to their phone instead of them. Carve out a realistic slot of time each day to put your phone down and make real connections with your kids.

Feeling tired and ragged? Us, too. You may feel guilty taking time for yourself, but between carting kids to and from school and activities, preparing meals, keeping a tidy house, and the incredible mental load you are carrying, self-care is a necessity. Taking some time for yourself every day, or at least every week, will make you a better mom.

Go for a monthly manicure, take a walk around the block every night after dinner, soak in the bathtub once the kids are asleep — do whatever you need to do to recharge your batteries so that you can return to your kids relaxed, calm, and ready to take on a new day.

Although it's tempting to pack our kids' schedules with tons of activities that will enrich their lives, teach them new skills, and complement what they learn at school, it's also important to give everyone's schedule a break now and then. For you, that means fewer drop offs and pick ups at various dance studios, science clubs, and karate lessons and less time sitting through your kids' soccer tournaments at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. For your kids, that means time to relax and recharge after school, to play with their siblings, and to connect with you. Most importantly, everyone will feel less stressed.

Once our kids are school age, it's easy to get into the "How was school?" "Good," pattern with them, which doesn't serve either party in any way, shape, or form. Whether it's when they walk in the door off the bus or while you're sitting at the dinner table as a family, ask them thought-provoking questions that will inspire honest and meaningful responses.

Sometimes our kids are bursting with things to tell us; other times, we get radio silence. Listening to what your kids have to say can help you to understand them and their needs more clearly and might even tune you into something that's going on with them that you didn't know about. Also, knowing that your ear is always there will inspire your kids to come to you more with the good and the bad, allowing you to be more involved in their lives as they get older.

Not comparing ourselves to other parents really is half the battle of modern parenting. Between picture-perfect mom bloggers and the moms at school drop off who are really great at projecting themselves as having their sh*t together, it can seem like you're doing everything wrong — but here's a secret: none of us has our sh*t together. Once you allow yourself to drop the notion of perfection — there's truly no such thing as being the "perfect mom" anyway — to focus more on the things that actually matter, you'll find it's easier to be a present and less-stressed parent for your kids.

In a world where saying "no" is usually a lot easier than saying "yes," it is important to bring up children who don't feel that negativity has a higher value than positivity. Encouraging words can have a truly lasting effect on your kids years and years after you've said them, so we should choose to use phrases that will make them feel good about themselves inside and out, things that will stick with them as words that got them through tough times.

There is such thing as doing "too much" for your kids, and constant overparenting isn't going to help them in the long run. Let them be bored and figure out how to entertain themselves, show them how to make simple snacks so they can do it themselves in the future, don't jump to help them with their homework unless they really need assistance, and give them chores and responsibilities from a young age. Handing life to your child on a silver platter is doing a disservice to you both.

When you're with your kids, be with them. Engage with them in any way you can, whether it be through talking, playing, laughing, cooking, exercising, or reading. Put aside the things on your mental to-do list that can wait — your kids won't be kids forever, so the dishes and laundry can wait.

Whether it's a big outing or something small like taking a bike ride around the neighborhood together, pick one thing each week that you can do to connect with your kids. If you have more than one child, it's especially important to get this one-on-one bonding time with each of them so that they can feel special, valued, and that they have your full attention, if only for a short time.

Although it can sometimes feel like a weakness, being able to ask for help when you need it is actually a strength. Being self-aware enough to realize that you need help, whether it be from your partner, a mom friend, or your kid's pediatrician, is important. Don't let yourself get burnt out — ask for help as often as you need it.

Being transparent with our kids from a young age and talking to them about big, sometimes difficult or taboo things — like politics, death, bullying, consent, and sex — is so important. Being open and honest with your kids from a young age will show them that talking about these things is normal, and more importantly, that they can come to you when they have questions or concerns about something that might feel sensitive or private.

When you can't possibly handle anymore stress, hire a sitter, even if it's just to take a shower or run to the grocery store. They'll be grateful for the extra cash, and you'll appreciate having some time to get your life in order and feel less mentally drained.

From day one, you are, and always will be, your child's go-to role model. There's a reason little kids copy everything their parents do — they want to be just like you. Set a good example for them by displaying the types of behavior you'd like to see from them and through being a positive role model.

You don't have to wait for report card day or a birthday to celebrate your child. Show your kids that small milestones, little victories, and accomplishments, no matter how tiny, deserve to be celebrated. They'll look back and remember the time you took them to get ice cream after they built an epic Lego creation more than the 50 or so report cards they got.

Creating new traditions as a family is one of the most fun parts of parenting. Going hard on half birthday celebrations, gifting your child with a Christmas ornament every year, having tacos for dinner every Tuesday night, or watching the same movie together every holiday season are just a few examples of fun traditions you can introduce to your kids to inject a little fun and nostalgia into your lives.

Throw unsolicited advice in the garbage this year, and learn to trust yourself. The saying "Mama knows best" didn't come out of nowhere — you know your kids and what's best for them, so trust your gut when making decisions about how to raise them rather than listening to someone else and stressing out over not doing things the way other moms are.

Relationships are hard work without adding kids to the mix, so it's more important than ever to make sure you and your partner make time to connect after having kids. Going on regular date nights, carving out time for romance, checking in with each other every day (without mentioning the kids), and going on couples' only trips if you can manage it are just a few ways to keep up with your other half amid the chaos of parenting.

One of the things kids will remember most about their childhoods are the experiences they had, rather than the toys or material things you gave them. Give them solo experiences like sending them to Summer camp or piano lessons, or do something as a family, like taking surf lessons at the beach or going to a yoga class.

Childhood — and the crazy times that come with parenting young kids — doesn't last forever. Let your kids be little and free while they can, and enjoy this time with them. Slow down and stop to look at every rock on a walk with them, answer their relentless questions about why the sky is blue ("but why?"), and get on the floor to play with them when they offer — there will be a last time you do each of those things with them, so you want to make sure you remember as much as possible.