When it comes to compliments and affirmations, some that aim to praise a child can actually be damaging, as the child could grow up thinking that being smart, talented, or strong, will carry them through life effortlessly, and in turn they'll be less likely to challenge themselves. "It's imperative that we don't praise kids by telling them they're smart," Stanford University Professor Jo Boaler said of the word "smart" in particular, at an event hosted by the Atlantic in 2105.
Although it's of course OK to tell your child when they've done something great, the following blanket phrases could potentially send a message to your child that they need to be or are a certain way. This could lead to them lean on the compliments you give them rather than make mistakes and learn from them.
- You're so smart.
- You're so strong.
- You're my perfect kid!
- You're doing way better than that kid.
