You've never gotten away with anything. Ever.
Although getting to take a stab at tennis lessons or Mario Kart before anyone else was something to be proud of, it does seem like the oldest kid never gets away with anything. Like anything. Failed your math test? Expect a lecture. Clock your sister in the head with a Wiffle ball bat? You might as well walk yourself to timeout. The bottom line: you might get to do everything first, but as soon as trouble starts brewing, run for the hills!