Bachelor Alum Sarah Herron Mourns Loss of Newborn Son
Bachelor Alum Sarah Herron Opened Up About Grieving Her Son a Month After His Death
It's been one month since Sarah Herron of "The Bachelor" shared the news that her son Oliver tragically "passed away in his dad's arms" shortly after giving birth, and in a recent Instagram post shared on Feb. 28, Herron opened up about what the last few weeks of grieving has been like for her. "It's been a month since Oliver was born. ❤️ This is him, this is his sweet little face. Perfect and covered in bright blonde peach fuzz. All 2 lbs of him."
In the caption of her Instagram post, she shared that she's unsure how she and her fiancé "managed to survive" throughout the last month. "It's required a certain type of wintering that only a grieving mother knows. But somehow, we're here."
She noted the heartache of watching the season of winter shift slowly to spring, admitting she's "not ready" for it. "The minutes of daylight gained each night is an insulting reminder that life carries on, despite my grief still being held in January. I don't want the snow to melt or the trees to bud. I want to winter with Oliver forever."
Though Herron said she is physically healing from the pregnancy, she opened up about how it is another reminder of the time moving forward without Oliver. "What I hate, is that as more time separates us from the night we met Oliver, sometimes I can't distinguish if the last month has been a nightmare or if my pregnancy was all a dream. And as each new day brings increments of space and healing… I am gutted that we are moving back in a direction of life that physically looks like the one we lived before Oliver. My body is healing, yet I remain in maternity jeans — a paradox of relief and grief at the same time."
The Denver native said she has leaned on her friends and family during this time, and "focused exclusively on healing" during the past month. Thankfully, she is finding space to laugh again, start cooking again, and has started walking with her dog Rio who she says has been her "lifeline."
"Joy ~has~ come back sooner than I gave it credit for," she adds in the post.
Herron initially shared her heartbreaking news via Instagram on Feb. 1, just a few days after giving birth. "There are no words for the magnitude of loss and pain we're experiencing," she wrote in the caption. "It's beautiful and simultaneously tragic. He had my nose and his dad's mouth and long fingers."
Herron described their "beautiful son" as an "IVF miracle" who had already fought "many hard milestones" before being born. "He has taught us so much about the integrity of life, love, and death," she added. "Oliver filled our home and hearts with so much love and most importantly, optimism. The stars aligned to create Baby Oliver with a deep, meaningful purpose bigger than we'll ever understand. His body was small, but his legacy will always be larger than life to us."
She noted the memories she'll cherish, including their simple morning routine with "Oliver's brother" (aka Rio). "Our time together was short, but we are grateful for the days we had with Oliver in my belly," she said, referencing the time "Oliver swam with sea turtles" and when he "kept me company while I recovered from a broken knee." She added, "Most of all, Oliver loved his morning routine of laying heart to heart with his brother, Rio, on my lap."
Chris Harrison and others from the Bachelor franchise shared their condolences in the comments. "God bless you all Sarah," Harrison wrote. Clare Crawley added, "Sarah you are the most amazing mother and your strength through to everything to fight so hard for your son has been nothing less than beautiful to witness."
Herron included a black and white photo of Oliver lying on her chest with her husband kissing her forehead. "While our hearts are shattered beyond comprehension, we are comforted knowing that our son's soul only ever knew love and will not suffer in a body that wasn't built for this life," she said. "We'll never understand the cruelty of it all, but through the darkness, Oliver remains so so bright. We love you so much, baby boy. You will never be replaced."