37 Things Toddlers Say to Avoid Going to Sleep

By Alessia Santoro

Putting a toddler to sleep is like running a covert secret mission for the FBI (OK, maybe not, but it sure seems that way, am I right?). If you're a parent, your child likely finds an excuse or two every single night as to why they can't possibly go to bed, and though it's frustrating to spend so much extra time convincing them to close their eyes and go to sleep, their excuses are usually hilarious.

Read through for 37 things a toddler might say to avoid going to sleep.

  1. They're dying of thirst.
  2. They don't want their water in that cup, though.
  3. They want to know if they can have a play date tomorrow.
  4. Their socks feel wrong, so they need to take them off.
  5. Their feet are cold.
  6. They're suddenly starving despite licking their dinner plate clean and eating their body weight in dessert afterward.
  7. Their belly hurts.
  8. They forgot to say goodnight to everything outside of their room.
  9. They forgot to say goodnight to everything in their room.
  10. They need to pee even though they just went.
  11. They want to play a game.
  12. They need another story. Just one more (read: 30 more).
  13. They have decided they are pursuing a career in comedy and need you to listen to their jokes right now.
  14. Every single one of their stuffed animals needs a kiss before they can even consider sleeping.
  15. They need to know what is for breakfast tomorrow. And lunch. And dinner.
  16. They farted and can't stop laughing.
  17. They saw you faintly smile at the fact that they farted and are now trying to have gas on command for another laugh.
  18. They forgot to brush their back teeth and should really go back into the bathroom.
  19. They need to watch one more blind bag video on YouTube.
  20. OK, they just want to talk about YouTube videos.
  21. They have too many of the aforementioned stuffed animals in their bed with them.
  22. They don't want to have to decide which stuffed animals sleep on the floor tonight.
  23. They're anticipating having bad dreams and needing you so they want to just stay up to be with you and cut out the middle man.
  24. Their eyes are broken and won't close.
  25. They don't want to sleep alone.
  26. They don't want you to stay with them until they fall asleep — you're taking up too much space.
  27. They're too warm.
  28. But they want another blanket.
  29. The tag in their PJs — that you cut out when they tried this excuse last night — is itchy.
  30. They want to know where babies come from.
  31. They want to try to go poop even though they managed to go three separate times throughout the day.
  32. They're upset that it's dark, so they ask for the light in the hallway on.
  33. The light hurts their eyes.
  34. They want to play another game.
  35. They want one more hug.
  36. And another kiss. Or three.
  37. They need to tell you they love you again . . . and again and again and again.