I Became a Mom at the Same Time as My Best Friend, and It Was Life-Changing
When I found out I was pregnant for the first time, it was two weeks before my best friend Katie's birthday. My plan to share the news was to send her flowers on her birthday with a note that said something like "Happy Birthday, Auntie Katie — can't wait to meet you! Love, your future niece or nephew." Unfortunately, my first pregnancy was not viable, and instead of getting to squeal with glee over FaceTime, I was having a miscarriage on Katie's birthday. As usual, she was incredibly supportive and amazing.
Katie and I have been best friends since we were 12 years old, and she really is my sister from another mister, my ride or die, my murder alibi, my platonic soulmate. There is nothing I've been through that Katie hasn't been through with me. We got married one month apart, so we got to plan our weddings together, and it was our dream to have babies at the same time. I had a lot of complications after my miscarriage, and I was afraid that the dream of motherhood would never come true. Katie, true to herself, stayed incredibly positive and wouldn't even entertain the idea of me having a barren uterus. As usual, she was right.
Six months after my pregnancy loss, I was pregnant again. I was excited and relieved, but also almost paralyzed with fear and anxiety that I would lose this baby, too. I didn't want to share the news with anyone, not even Katie. A few weeks after I found out, we were on the phone, and when I paused after she asked how I was doing, she didn't hesitate to say, "Uh, are you pregnant?!" We burst into hysterical laughs/tears and shared a really special moment. Throughout my pregnancy, she was always the one to validate my fears but keep me positive. I swear our friendship makes me believe in psychic abilities! Whenever I was in an anxiety spiral, she would sense my mood and help me get out of it.
After my 20-week ultrasound, when we got the report of a perfectly healthy baby, I settled into my pregnancy more, and Katie shared that she and her husband were "sort of trying" to get pregnant. As the months rolled on and her period kept coming, she got a little nervous, but I always reminded her, as she reminded me, that she would have a baby one day. She would text me regularly with hilarious "empty uterus" updates, and when we got together for my baby shower, we laughed as we took pictures of my growing belly next to her very flat one. "I can't even imagine my belly like that," she marveled. "Right back at ya," I giggled. Little did we know, those pictures had four girls in them! Katie was six weeks pregnant with her daughter, and we were in for our best adventure yet.
Katie and her husband were the first people outside of my immediate family to visit me at the hospital after my daughter was born. Watching Katie hold my baby was the most unreal, joyful, and amazing experience of my life. Six months later, the roles were reversed and I got to meet Katie's daughter. And since that moment, we've realized we are closer than ever. Katie and I talk all day every day, and I am a better mom for it.
Having Katie as a best friend is an incredible gift, because honestly, she knows me better than I know myself. As I navigated early motherhood and a bout of severe postpartum depression and anxiety, Katie was there to remind me of who I was deep down. "You will get through this," she promised me, and as usual, she was right. We bounce everything motherhood related off each other, and it is so refreshing to be able to ask, "Do you ever feel like you just don't want to be a mom today?," without fear of judgment. We talk to each other about all the fun, exciting, funny, and interesting things about motherhood, but we can share about the tough stuff, too. When I worry about giving my daughter the wrong foods, Katie is there to remind me that fed is best. When Katie's daughter rolled off her bed onto the floor and she called me hysterically crying, I told her how my pediatrician says babies are made to bounce. I get to watch with glee as her daughter stands on her own at only 10 months — she is so advanced, I'm telling you! And Katie gets to laugh as she watches my daughter motor busily around my living room saying "uh-oh" literally 100 times in a row (someone help me!).
I know that Katie and I are incredibly lucky to have each other. I can't imagine being on the journey of motherhood without her by my side.