A Curmudgeon Is Going Viral For Asking Neighbors to Stop Giving Out "Cheap" Halloween Candy
A woman from Rancho Cucamonga, CA, is certainly turning heads after imploring her neighbors to buy more expensive Halloween candy, damn it! In a now-viral post that was shared — then deleted — from the Rancho Cucamonga Neighborhood Watch Facebook page, the woman in question went on a serious rant about how kids should be getting better Halloween candy since they live in an affluent community. Fortunately, someone was smart enough to screengrab the post and share it to Twitter.
"PSA: Halloween is officially four weeks away and I was hoping to catch you all before you make your candy selections," she wrote. "Over the last three years, I've noticed candy stock has become more and more diluted with cheap candy. I don't know if this trend is the result of higher bills or even the new constructions, but somehow cheap Halloween candy has infiltrated our community and it has to stop."
You may be wondering, what the heck is acceptable by these standards?! Don't worry, she laid out some ideas.
"Cheap Halloween candy has infiltrated our community and it has to stop."
"Dum Dums, Smarties, and Jolly Ranchers may be suitable for Ontario, Fontana, and even Montclair but not here in Rancho Cucamonga. We are an affluent neighborhood and this status should be reflected in our candy provisions for Halloween. Standard, full or KING-size candy is the bar (pun-intended) we set for our community on Halloween. Just keep in mind that 4-6 of those fun-size bars equate to a standard-size bar when you dole out that candy to trick or treaters. And please, for God's sake, leave those Peep candies along. No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants those terrible marshmallow tragedies."
But it doesn't stop there; she even went in on anyone in the elderly community who has the gall to hand out their hard-earned money when kids knock on their doors. "For the elderly who hand out coins, unless you plan on throwing some quarters into the mix, stop peddling your pennies and step up your game this Halloween. It's a calculated loss to trick or treaters after you adjust for inflation and the opportunity cost of what they could have received elsewhere if they just skipped your house."
Naturally, after the post was shared, people couldn't help but weigh in on the matter, and the responses are oh so delicious.