Vashtie Wore a Custom Durag Veil For Her City-Hall Wedding to Honor Black Culture

POPSUGAR: Was this casual look somewhat inspired by what you were supposed to wear on your big day?
Vashtie Kola: The intended look for my big ceremony will eventually be designed by my best friend Raul Lopez of Luar. Our inspiration for that look will honor classic wedding traditions (white dress, etc), yet stay true to my personal style. Having said that, it's nothing like my look for City Hall.

PS: Were the items you wore — the Dickies, Nikes, and t-shirt — items you already had in your closet?:
VK: I already had the unworn Dickies work pants (my something new), purchased a few weeks prior at the workwear supply store Dave's New York. I also already owned the Nike Air Force 1 Sneakers (something old), which were a gift from my husband. The Supreme Hanes t-shirt I shopped for because I'm clumsy and every white tee I own is stained. It seemed appropriate to shop for a fresh white tee. My something borrowed was an earring from my photographer, Edwin Ortiz Jr., and my something blue was a blue mouse toy that belonged to my cat Vladimir who has now passed.

PS: Did you have any inspiration photos you used to put together the look?
VK: I was never a girl who dreamed of her wedding for many reasons, but mainly because my style never correlated with the weddings I saw. After my proposal, I realized that I could make my wedding look my own and started with that as inspiration. I asked myself questions like, "How do I want to feel on my wedding day?" or "When do I feel most like myself?" I kept coming to the answer that I wanted to be comfortable in pants, sneakers, and a t-shirt.

I also feel like a lot of young women with a style similar to mine have followed my career and been a part of my journey, so I wanted them to see that you don't need a super expensive dress or a destination wedding to get married. Your self-expression and identity don't need to get lost on your own wedding day. We all get caught up in the "who wore what" or "who went where" and tend to create unrealistic standards of what we think our big life moments should look like. Your wedding day is all about you and your partner — that's it. Do what you want and don't get caught up in what others are doing or what people are expecting from you.

PS: Are there any unique details you can tell us about the custom durag veil?
VK: When I told my assistant Joanna Hernandez about my wedding look, she put me in contact with talented designer Evita Loca, who makes durags. I liked that Evita was an expert on the style and had a unique touch. Joanna reached out to Evita and explained the look I was going for and she replied quickly. She lives in another state, so we designed it over text message. Evita went fabric shopping, sent videos of samples, and ultimately we decided on a lace and beaded fabric. We agreed the veil should be as dynamic as possible and figured nine feet of length would be perfect.

PS: Where are you safekeeping it?
VK: I know I'll have to add it to one of my wedding looks on my big wedding day. For now, it's neatly folded in a box and nestled in my closet.

PS: What was your favorite part of your bridal look, if you had to pick?
VK: The sneakers. Sneakers have been a major part of my identity for as long as I can remember and in my younger days I was often ridiculed for being 'unladylike.' To be able to wear them as I transitioned into married life was empowering and comforting. Despite the fact that I was entering a partnership, I didn't have to compromise who I was to do so.

PS: The gloves are such an elegant detail — where are they from and what do you think of bridal gloves as a wedding accessory in general?
VK: I wasn't sure if gloves would be over the top, but I thought another classic wedding accessory (aside from the veil) could possibly elevate the look. It was a last minute addition that was made possible by Amazon Prime. I think because my look was so simple, the gloves helped to bring it all together. I like the idea of gloves for a bride if it fits their look. There's something so elegant about satin gloves to me.

PS: Did you work with your stylist on the outfit or did you dream it up yourself?:
VK: The idea was mine, but I had my very talented stylist James Johnson (darealjjohnson) come in and help perfect the look.

PS: What would you tell other brides about making the choice to go casual on their special day and staying true to their personal style — especially as so many brides are going this route in response to COVID?
VK: No regrets! I know it's not for everyone, but I felt like myself, which was important to me. If casual is your thing, then I say do that. When I was mood-boarding for my wedding, I was overwhelmed by how monotonous a lot of wedding looks are — beautiful, but lacking personality or charm. I love traditional and classic, but I also believe in individuality and creativity. For me, the brides who stood out were always the ones whose personality emitted from their wedding ensemble. For example, my friend Cynthia Cervantes Gumbs, whose Luar-designed Mexican inspired dress was a viral hit, or Kate Moss's effortless Bohemian 1920s wedding dress ensemble.

PS: What should brides keep in mind if they have to scale down or change their plans?
VK: I grew up poor, my husband isn't rich, and we are far from wealthy, but that doesn't mean our special day can't be special or memorable. Sure, an expensive destination wedding to an exotic land paid for by rich parents would be grand, but you can make a $5,000 backyard wedding just as fab. And you don't need to let social distancing stop your wedding plans — you can find ways to make it work even while keeping guests six feet apart. Take, for example, my friend Elaine Welteroth, who had a gorgeous COVID wedding on her Brooklyn Brownstone steps.

The same goes for your bridal look. A designer dress is nice if you can afford it, but if you can't, you can still create a memorable look. Every person and couple is different, so spend some time thinking about what those differences are and find chic ways to add it to your look. If you love cats, get a cat silhouette beaded into your veil or maybe you hate wearing dresses so wear nicely tailored pants. It's interesting because most of us never question the norm — of what we accept a bride "should" look like, when in reality - these standards don't even stem from our own cultures or interests. We could all be tapping into our own style or heritage to form our own unique identity if we want. Again, that's just me. Maybe 100 percent classic is your thing, and you should do that.