Lady Gaga's Platform Boots Have Earned Her the Record For World's Strongest Ankles

Published on 8/6/2021 at 3:50 PM

Hello, Guinness World Records? I have a suggestion to make for your next book: Lady Gaga for the title of World's Strongest Ankles. The singer, actress, and fashion icon has used this summer as her unofficial campaign for the position, wearing a smattering of precariously tall platform boots that prove her ankles might secretly be made of steel. To be fair, Mother Monster has had sky-high shoes in her rotation for years — those meat-covered heels from the MTV VMAs still live rent-free in my brain nearly 11 years later — but it seems in recent weeks she's resurrected her devotion to the cause. And it's quite hard to ignore.

Day after day, Gaga steps out in the Big Apple with her Big Platform Energy (BPE, peripheral to though not to be confused with BDE) on full display. It's almost like she's heard our gasps as she seamlessly struts over subway grates and sidewalk cracks with nary a downward glance, and she's thinking to herself, "Psh, there's plenty more where that came from." The superstar has mostly worn lace-up booties with thick platforms and heels ranging from 8 to 9 inches by a brand called Pleaser, her undeniable go-to. She owns the head-turning heels in a variety of colors including beige, black, and white, and has styled them with everything from pastel bike shorts to a billowing tablecloth-like dress. What can I say? The woman's got range, and not just musically.

Seeing paparazzi photos of Lady Gaga's recent BPE exhibitions has drummed up thoughts and questions aplenty on my end. For starters, I must know: Does she have a trainer that specifically helps target and strengthen her ankles and arches? If so, I'd love them to come forth and spill the workout routine, please and thank you. Also, where in God's name does she store this Pleaser boot collection of hers? I mean, she must have an entire closet solely devoted to them because those babies take up some serious real estate. Will she ever give us an IGS swipe-up discount code for her cushy insoles? Because she must wear insoles with those, right?

I could go on for days with my musings, but alas, you'd probably rather just check out more photos of Gaga rocking her favorite footwear as of late, huh? Say no more — read ahead for all the OMG-worthy snaps and my continued commentary.

Lady Gaga paired this quilted Christopher John Rogers dress with cat-eye Andy Wolf sunglasses and pristine white Pleaser boots. If I attempted to walk in those, they'd be positively covered in black scuff marks, but hers are spotless.

Please take note of how she doesn't even need to look down while while descending the stairs. The woman's a seasoned pro in the art of high-heel walking, and I'm bowing down.

She donned the same calf-high boots just one day prior with a sporty, baby-blue Marc Jacobs set, and I can't help but wonder if this is her usual gym attire. I frankly would not be surprised.

Toting a purse that's the same size as your platform is an experience I can confidently confirm I will never endure. But I love that for her.

Lady Gaga didn't need to hem the long pants of her pinstripe suit from the Jean Paul Gaultier Haute Couture '97 archives . . .

. . . her beige platform boots came in handy and made them fit perfectly.

What. A. LOOK. Gaga said, "Who needs pants?" with this outfit, pairing a black bodysuit with an oversize blazer, glittery tights, and, of course, some dangerously high Pleaser boots for good measure.

She could step on me in this outfit and I'd profusely thank her.

She almost fully concealed her beige booties with this floor-length Richard Quinn gown, but alas, they peeked through to say, "Hi, yep, we're back!"

Catch me immediately tripping if I attempted to walk half a step in this outfit.

An angel among us! Lady Gaga made the sidewalk her runway in this feather-trimmed Lanvin dress and patent-leather booties.

I commend her for wearing a sweater dress and calf-high boots in the dead of summer in NYC. Alexa, play "Applause" by Lady Gaga.

For yet another show-stopping Manhattan outing, Gaga went monochromatic in a black Magda Butrym midi dress, Dita sunglasses, a Mark Cross bag, and her favorite towering boots.

The side view of her platforms drive home how wild they truly are, wouldn't you say?

Earlier this summer, Gaga celebrated "Born This Way Day" with a quintessential getup — a graphic tee from her own Urban Outfitters merch collection, ripped fishnet tights, chunky chain jewelry, and patent purple boots that were custom-made by Demonia.

Though the platform spans the entire bottom of the shoe, they still have ankle-snapping potential, IMO.