10 Etiquette Commandments For Hosting Holiday Dinners

It doesn't matter if it's 1940 or 2014 — always RSVP after receiving an invitation, even if you can't attend. And it's OK to ask if you can bring a guest, but be understanding if there isn't additional room at the table. And this goes for any event during the holiday season, from your work party to informal gatherings with friends. It's helpful to know how many guests to prepare for, so letting the host know as soon as possible cuts the stress.

Even if you know your host will decline the offer, ask if you can bring anything — it's just polite. But if told there's no need, do refrain from bringing anything; otherwise, your host will have more leftovers than expected. Instead opt for a hostess gift she can enjoy later.

Thanksgivings of the past often started with the men heading out to hunt the turkey then leaving the women to prepare and cook the bird. Let's be thankful most of us can pick up our turkey already defeathered from the grocery store.

Over the years, Thanksgiving has been demoted from a dressy event to jeans and even sweats. But it's still a semiformal affair, which calls for proper attire. Stick with something you'd wear to the office or on a casual date. Your host will definitely appreciate it.

Also? Please don't arrive early, which might add extra stress to your host. Stick with ringing the doorbell within 30 minutes of the appointed time. If you're going to be later than that, make sure to call as soon as possible to notify your host.

Turn off your cell phone and tuck it away. This is not a time to check your email or see what's trending. Thanksgivings of the past where all-day affairs, filled with families sharing stories — without the interruption of television or phones. And hey, help with cleanup.

Even if you thank your host in person after the meal, it's so polite to send a thank-you note. Sure, you can email it, but a handwritten note is traditionally sent — so get out a pen and paper, and get writing.

Send invites at least one month in advance. And if out-of-town guests are staying at your place, three days is a good time frame for overnight visits. Thanksgiving originally landed on the last Thursday in November, but during the Great Depression, Franklin D. Roosevelt pushed the date to Nov. 23, giving retailers and consumers more shopping time before Christmas in hopes of enticing people to buy more.

When hosting, have a flexible meal that offers something for everyone. Or if you know a guest has specific dietary concerns, it's OK to ask them to bring something to share. A 1940s Thanksgiving was totally different from what we see today, with big hits being oyster bisque, roast capon, chestnut stuffing, strings beans, and mashed turnips. And don't forget the pecan pie.

Offer lots of tempting appetizers before the big meal, and stock up on nonalcoholic options for those who aren't imbibing. Feeling overwhelmed? Ask your guests to help out and bring something to share. Source: Nicole Perry

Today it's acceptable to seat and serve the youngest and oldest first. But in the past, things were even more detailed, with the hostess leading the women into the dinning room, followed by the male guests. Then she would tell everyone where to sit or direct them to sit at their designated spot — thanks to seating cards.

And while you're planning who's sitting where, double-check your Thanksgiving menu, ensuring you are ready to start cooking. And whatever you can make ahead of the big event cuts down on time spent in the kitchen when you're entertaining.

As a general rule, knives and spoons are positioned to the right side of the dinner plate, with the cutting edge turned to the plate. Forks are placed to the left in the order of use. In sticking with the traditional place setting, your guests will feel comfortable sitting at your table — without wondering where everything is.

Have extra serving spoons and platters handy so everyone can dig in without confusion. And stash napkins close by for offering to guests as needed.

Hey, your guests are part of what makes the meal enjoyable, so offer heartfelt thanks after the meal is over and before each person departs. It's a nice way to end on a positive note while being a gracious host.

What's most important is spending quality time with friends and family, so stop stressing if things don't go as planned. Smile, enjoy, and bask in the Thanksgiving glow of happiness.

Now that you've mastered the art of etiquette, it's time to get cooking! Serve this delicious green bean casserole, and be sure to impress all your guests.