If You Watch Anything Today, Please Let It Be Dita Von Teese's Truly Over-the-Top Home Tour

"I love color. I like feeling like all my favorite colors are represented in the house," said Dita while standing in her busy, mural-adorned entryway.

Let's take a closer look at those swans in the back, shall we?

Great, great.

"I really loathe white walls," said Dita, before gesturing to one of the few remaining ones in her home. She added, "There are a few white walls left like this one here, because I'm going to cover this in feathers."

"I wanted to make a very glamorous kitchen because no matter what you do and no matter what your house looks like, everyone hangs out in the kitchen," Dita said.

She added, "I used to famously have a pink kitchen, and so a lot of these things I took from my pink kitchen, and I used them here."

"I saw this faucet. It was the most outrageous thing, and I had to have it," Dita said. "I just love it. It's really weird, and it's not maybe the handiest thing, but I like it." You should start to sense a pattern here.

"A lot of people talk about this stove when they come in," said Dita about her customized AGA stove. "There were a lot of things that were big challenges and people that I had to find to make all these custom things for me, which is not the easy way. I just wanted the most beautiful stove ever, and I got this stove, and then realized I had to learn how to use this stove."

"I am a maximalist, not a minimalist," Dita said while touring her living room. You don't say?

"I should say, every single sofa in this house is extremely uncomfortable," she said. "There's really nowhere comfortable to sit in this house."

One of the many pieces of ethical taxidermy in Dita's possession.

Here, Dita is showing off her collection of vintage and rare books.

And here, Dita is demonstrating her case of vintage feathers and powder puffs. "I have a lot of powder puffs. I just like them. I keep getting them," she said.

A look at Dita's ornate dining room with an overt chinoiserie aesthetic.

Inspired by The Cure's Robert Smith, who once kept a lipstick on a string by his front door, Dita decided to attach a lipstick on a gold chain to this antique mirror. She said, "So that when I'm having parties and I can't find my lipstick or I don't want to go upstairs to my vanity, then I can just do it right here."

Dita said she always keeps her lovely patio lined with red geraniums.

Dita's backyard is appropriately filled with vintage patio furniture.

Dita said her pool rarely gets used because it's too cold, but what seems to get more action is . . . her pool house pub!

"I always envied people that had a tiki bar or something," Dita said, "so I thought, well I have an English Tudor, so I should make a pub."

This specially made stained glass features a selection of Dita's favorite symbols.

"This is kind of just an area where I put pictures of myself, because I'm too embarrassed to put them on the main walls," Dita said while walking down to what she calls her "woman cave library."

Dita has an impressive collection of Hollywood memorabilia, which includes a corset Natalie Wood wore in Gypsy, a corset once worn by Betty Grable, and Bettie Page's favorite shoes.

"I like to look at art, and I don't like to look at screens, so I hid the TV behind this piece of art," Dita said. "It's kind of silly, but it is what it is."

Dita considers this Art Deco bar one of her most "treasured possessions." "I have way too many martini and Champagne glasses too, as you would guess," she added, before offering a closer look at her binocular flask.

"I have a very, very close friend who is a shoe designer, so that's why I have this many shoes," Dita said, referencing her many floor-to-ceiling shoe racks.

"Everybody needs a rhinestone praying mantis," she said. That's all.

"This is my version of minimalism," Dita said while entering her monochromatic bedroom.

A guest appearance from Dita's cat.

Dita said she designed her bed after Mae West, who had mirrors all over her bedroom because, rumor has it, "she liked to see how she was doing."

Dita's vanity is from the 1930s, and she's has to wax down certain items to keep her cat from knocking them off.

And finally, a look at Dita's airy bedroom balcony.