How to Keep the Kitchen Organized If You Live With Someone Who's, Um, a Little Messy

THE END OF UNPLEASANT SMELLS: A ONE-ACT PLAY

You: "Why does it smell like old fish in this kitchen?"

Roommate, avoiding eye contact: "Fish? I, uh, don't smell any fish here."

You: "I detect a distinct odor of flounder, perhaps halibut. Reheated. Are you overheating your leftovers again?"

Roommate, nervously: "Ha ha, what a joker you are. We've already talked about how I'd stop microwaving my day-old seafood because it stinks up the place. I would never. Maybe your nose is broken."

You: Arches eyebrow, maintains eye contact while wordlessly placing Fresh Wave Odor Removing Gel ($15) on countertop.

Roommate: "Wait. Where are you going? Wait! DON'T OPEN THE MICROWAVE! Oh, f . . . ish."

FIN