The Problem With Modern Dating
When Did Dating Get So F*cked Up?
RIP to the dating days when a relationship status was black and white with no confusion in between. Now, we've got this ambiguous gray area that nobody knows how to interpret. How many of your friends have no idea where they stand with the person they're "seeing," "dating," or "kind of with but they're not totally sure"? When and why did dating get so complicated? It seems like "together but not official" has become the new norm, and it's f*cking annoying.
If two people have feelings for each other, it shouldn't be such a game to decide whether or not to take the next step. "We're pretty much boyfriend-girlfriend, but without the title." Sound familiar? It's not the title that matters. It's the certainty of knowing whether you guys are on the same page so that neither person is wasting their time. It took almost a year for my boyfriend and me to finally figure out what we were doing. Things worked out in the end, but we definitely could've avoided some hurt feelings in between.
Exclusivity is like the plague that everyone tries to avoid.
And I get the idea of wanting to keep your options open, but there comes a point where you can't keep dragging each other along in case someone better shows up. In no way am I suggesting to settle, either. It's about respecting each other enough to be transparent about your feelings.
I know the dreaded talk about where you both stand can be excruciating to bring up, but it'll give you an answer one way or another. If the person actually cares for you, it shouldn't be a big deal. If they're not interested or not ready, at least you'll know. Move on to someone who does see your worth.
