14 Types of People You Should Have Sex With

Pros:

Will appreciate being with a real woman

Will be impressed with your apartment

Cons:

Postsex conversation might be lacking

Will probably make you do Fireball shots

Pros:

Can introduce you to groovy old music

Will appreciate your youthful figure

Cons:

Seeing older people naked sometimes gets a little too real

People might think they're your parent

Pros:

Karaoke makes for excellent foreplay

So does watching someone play a guitar

Cons:

Groupies

Highly unpredictable schedule

Pros:

Always knows where to find the afterparty

Free drinks

Cons:

Also doesn't get off work until 4 a.m.

Might have tattoos they just “woke up with”

Pros:

Little need for small talk

No expectation of a second date

Cons:

Could be a crazy person

Sex is likely to occur in a bathroom

Pros:

Will do sexy things like draw on your body

Pretty much down for anything

Cons:

Might blow you off for days if they're working

Often covered in paint

Pros:

Fun opportunities for subtle office flirtation

Lots of conversations about how you can't believe you're having sex with a co-worker

Cons:

Potential for serious trouble or serious awkwardness
It's way more obvious to your colleagues than you think

Pros:

Probably has nice sheets

Will spring for the expensive bottle of wine

Cons:

Always on their phone

Might also have a secret spouse

Pros:

Will probably cook you delicious meals

Has ins at all the restaurants and bars

Cons:

Sometimes chefs are loose cannons

Lingering smell of cooking oil

Pros:

Uniforms are hot

People in uniforms are usually in great shape

Cons:

Not really into breaking the rules

Very early wake-up calls

Pros:

Mutual friends

Likely to be in a very festive mood

Cons:

Mutual friends

Extreme drunkeness

Pros:

A strong, chiseled body you can climb on

Provides motivation to go to the gym

Cons:

All that clean-living stuff can be a real buzzkill

Pros:

Accustomed to riding things

You will probably get to ride on the back of a motorcycle

Cons:

Someone could get hurt

Pro:

You will be the best sex they've ever had

Con:

It will not be the best sex you've ever had