It's incredibly painful when you realize that your partner's feelings for you have changed, but Brittney Lindstrom from YourTango has pinpointed the signs to watch out for, so you can work things out as soon as possible.
Does he still love you?
No one wants to imagine a future without a partner they've been planning a future with for some time. It hurts like hell to have to even question whether or not a partner is falling out of love with the other.
That's why it is so important to try and communicate early on so it doesn't get to the point of not having a future together. The signs, behaviors, and actions of partners who may no longer see a future with the other are subtle and at times, may seem "normal" in relationships.
Don't get too comfortable. Make sure you nip it in the bud before too much time passes and it's too late to fix the relationship.
Some of the signs and behaviors are so subtle that it may seem normal for your partner to act in such a way. Be cautious. Not every person is going to exhibit the same signs and behaviors of falling out of love but the reasoning behind them are not farfetched.
If you think he doesn't love you anymore, take note of these subtle signs listed and make sure to catch them early enough so there's a better chance at rekindling the relationship:
1. He suddenly has a new obsession.
Everyone has passions and hobbies that they should like participating in. It becomes worrisome when a passion or hobby is being used as a distraction or a way of avoiding the relationship.
If less time is being spent with you and more time is being spent on a hobby, it may be a way of ignoring the relationship. Pay attention to the amount of time being spent on a hobby and the amount of time spent with you.
2. He gives up on his appearance.
When one partner gives up on their appearance and doesn't make an effort to shave or clean up, that partner is showing no concern or worry that the other find him attractive.
Not cleaning up for a night out on the town or to go hang out with friends may indicate an avoidance of intimacy altogether.
3. There's minimal to no cuddling.
In the beginning of the relationship, cuddling was natural in order to feel close to one another. Cuddling is one of the ways couples feel close to each other.
If there's minimal to no cuddling anymore, it may mean that they aren't concerned or interested in meeting your intimacy needs.
4. He doesn't ask about your day.
This just shows an overall lack of interest in whatever it is you do on your day-to-day. If they don't ask about your day, it may also be a sign that it's really not that important to them.
5. He refuses to discuss what's bothering him.
They don't want to talk about what's bothering them because it may make them feel uncomfortable.
What is the best solution to discomfort? Avoidance. They don't want to discuss anything that may bring feelings of discomfort.
6. He doesn't hold your hand anymore.
Holding hands usually comes naturally to couples. If they aren't holding your hand, it can mean they have a lack of interest in being physically close and connected to the other.
7. He no longer talks about the future or avoids the topic altogether.
The future a couple once had that involved a family and buying a house becomes a distant memory of what a couple once shared.
8. There's lack of eye contact.
Nonverbal communication, such as eye contact, says a lot about how much a person values another and how important a person is to them. If there is minimal eye contact within the relationship, it's time to question their feelings and why this change has occurred.
9. Communication becomes less frequent.
Lack of communication needs to be detected early in order for the relationship to be saved. If it's not addressed early enough, it allows them to emotionally withdraw from the relationship completely.
10. Conversations have become surface-level discussions.
Your conversations and discussions become relatively uninteresting and at times, meaningless. For example, you may ask about a baseball game or game show your partner is watching and that is as far as it goes.
Discussion about the relationship and issues within the relationship are avoided.
11. He acts uncomfortable around other couples who are happy.
Other couples may be holding hands or have their arm around each other while they are uncomfortable because they aren't being intimate or physically close to the other.
It is difficult and sad that your partner may be falling out of love with you. Your partner was supposed to be your future and the only future you envisioned.
But please, listen to me when I say it is probably the best thing to ever happen to you and you want to know why? Because you get to create an entirely new future and gives you the opportunity to create or build upon who you are as a person.
As I was writing this, I realized all of these signs were evident in my previous relationship with my ex-fiance. Had I known what I know now back then, I may have been able to attempt to fix the relationship or at least be prepared for the outcome.
I am grateful to have gone through that experience because I will never be the person I was back then and I was able to be the person I wanted to be with no compromises and I was also able to embrace my flaws.
Take action early. Do not wait until it's too late. Don't get the thought in your head that you are nagging because you're not. You have every right to know what is going on in your partner's life and how your partner feels within the relationship.
Communication is key and if your partner is unable to communicate their feelings and issues in the relationship, then they aren't worth it and you deserve better.
Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.
Check out more great stories from YourTango:
- The Real Reason Your Man Is Emotionally Distant (And Why He Can't Help It)
- The Biggest Relationship Destroyer You Probably Never Heard Of
- How to Fall Back in Love