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Things to Love About Dating a So-Called Average Guy

Forget Prince Charming, 6 Reasons You Should Date an Average Guy

We've seen plenty of onscreen examples of the normal-looking and/or nerdy underdog ending up with the "hot girl" — see She's Out of My League, Knocked Up, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, etc. — and while this may be a great premise for a flick, how does dating an "average" guy play out in real life? I would argue that there are benefits to being in a relationship with someone more unassuming and less chiseled than the McDreamy or Don Draper type. Here are six reasons why you shouldn't shy away from the average Joe.

  1. He knows his strengths: Guys who recognize that their looks are less than perfect know what they are and aren't good at. Great-looking guys may think that everything they touch turns to gold, when often that isn't the case. Exhibit A: Jon Hamm's Dr. Drew Baird on 30 Rock.
  2. He's not an attention whore: He isn't used to nonstop attention, so in group situations he allows you to shine and isn't always trying to steal the spotlight.
  3. It's all about you: He's a great listener and is OK with spending a mellow night in instead of flaunting his ability to get into all the trendy spots.
  4. You don't have to stare down the competition: Out and about you're not dealing with other women checking him out or, worse, flirting with him in front of you. Who cares if you're sometimes mistaken for his sister and/or platonic friend?
  5. He's well-rounded: Since he can't float by on his smashing good looks, chances are, he's better cultivated his humorous personality, guitar-playing skills, or art history knowledge.
  6. He's low-maintenance: He's probably not spending a lot of time primping in front of the mirror or getting ready for date night.
Image Source: Paramount Pictures
Join The Conversation
nyxmoxie nyxmoxie 7 years
Well there's something to be said for dating someone in your "league" or level. Studies have been done in the past that have said you're likely to stay together if you're both on the same level of looks, education, interests, goals in life, etc. Dating wise, I hate those male bimbos, I avoid them like the plague. I don't go for jocks. I'm stereotyping a little but what person on earth doesn't have biases? I hate jock type of guys, even if they're "nice" I always think, that they'll probably cheat or dump me for someone prettier. I don't go for Brad Pitt types. In fact, Hollywood is a great example of that...a lot of hot men dump their wives/gfs and go for someone younger and better looking. Look what Brad Pitt did to Jennifer Aniston and JA is a great looking girl. Its true that there are "average" guys out there that are completely horrible. I would say I'm average, I'm not geeky, but I'm not a model either. I'm in between. I tend to go for guys that are attractive to me, I don't care what others say about him. My bf's not a model, but he's not a geek either. I find him very attractive myself. He's smart, funny, and has a lot of other good qualities. I think as long as you find someone attractive, who else cares what anyone else thinks? Its not their relationship.
joriss joriss 7 years
average man is a quality man, i believe!!
cordata cordata 7 years
Some girls date average guys because they seem like a safe choice, like they won't break your heart. WRONG! These average guys can be real dogs, just as much as any hot guy! Don't settle for someone less attractive or boring because you think he'll be dependable. They'll just become jerks because they've scored a hot girl (you!). Go for someone you can talk to and someone who makes you feel good about yourself and optimistic about your goals, no matter what level of attractiveness. But try to aim high!
vanilla-and-pink vanilla-and-pink 7 years
I learned so much from dating someone out of my league! He had an amazing body, he was ultra popular since birth I think, football player, and hilarious. What i learned is that underneath all those perks, he really didn't have much of a personality and he was terrible boyfriend material. After that lesson, I started dating more well rounded people and I think I've found the love of my life.
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 7 years
I'm actually with Shayna on this one.... it sounds like whomever the "girl" is in this situation is painfully insecure and is going for a 'less hot' guy because then she knows she will be the center of attention and won't have to worry about him leaving her. that's pathetic. with that said, I also agree with SKG that sometimes the super hot guys know it and use it to their advantage, specifically regarding sex. I also agree that there are plenty of gorgeous guys who just don't know it... guy I'm dating now isn't a 'hot' guy but he is just devastatingly handsome and he has no idea. plus, once you start to get to know someone and you learn how beautiful their personality is, that person is obviously going to look better to you. compatibility and a connection is the most attractive part.
BrittneyMcG BrittneyMcG 7 years
This is so my life, when my boyfriend and I saw the preview for this movie, he said, "look, babe, they made a movie about us." Everyone else sees him as out of my league, including him, but I just don't. To me he is sexy, absolutely brilliant, hilarious, and incredibly cultured. Anyway, looks aren't everything, duh. I like to think that my being beautiful isn't what makes me or breaks me as I meet new people in any context.
heathersu heathersu 7 years
That's pretty insulting to say a good reason to date an "average" guy is because there's little chance of him cheating on you and virtually no competition.
jkat jkat 7 years
Ugh so sick of these movies. I hate the "geek fantasy" movies where loser guys get kick ass women because they supposedly have hearts of gold. I don't know what this movie is about, but Knocked Up comes to mind as a prime example. Overweight stoner with no ambition, no job, no discernible charm, and who doesn't respect someone's wishes about using protection during sex ends up with a gorgeous, intelligent, ambitious, successful woman because he gets her pregnant and might be considered funny? Disgusting. I don't think all good looking guys are jerks, or have crappy personalities. That has never been my experience. Some are a-holes. So are some average looking guys. So are some butt ugly guys. I think this stereotype is just as bad as saying an attractive women can't be smart or friendly as well. Bottom line is people who can date who they want. You can be compatible with someone who is not necessarily as objectively attractive as you. But I am sick of Hollywood movies where very together, attractive women end up with complete tools. There is no reason to push this agenda other than the people writing these movies are tools themselves who want the world to shake out this way.
lilegwene lilegwene 7 years
You know, it's sad that this site would support stereotyping men in this way. Replace this article's subject matter as good looking WOMEN vs. average looking WOMEN and there would be outrage. There are men who are great-looking AND have these good qualities. Also, #12 has it right. Some average looking guys have lots of bad qualities. What do they teach in 1st grade? "Don't judge a book by its cover." I think a lot of people need a refresher course. ;)
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
Right on, Pistil. Shayna, somehow you're losing me on this one; how is being well rounded and knowing your strengths a sign of low self esteem? No offense, but I'm with anon #11...
Pistil Pistil 7 years
Congratulations, guys. You just uncovered the plot of the movie. The stupid Hollywood comedy that this article is based on. Must you take everything so seriously?
Blackwood Blackwood 7 years
leagues? really? aren't we all supposed to be adults here? You know, free will... if a guy wants to date what some may consider a a girl "out of his league", and the girl wants to date him as well, then he's definitely not out of place, since she picked him too... as long as both people want to date one another, I don't see how can we measure that, leagues or no leagues. It's ridiculous, and it objectifies people (seriously, don't you want to smack people who ask you "what did you see in him?"). I hate to sound like a bitter bitch, but I agree with Shayna here. These are really the pros about dating someone not average, but with low self-esteem... an attractive person with a bad past experience in dating would have the same perks, yet I wouldn't be happy for that. It's sad.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 7 years
@janneth - YES. I work as an ambulance dispatcher. I am surrounded by ridiculously attractive EMTs and paramedics on a daily basis. I'd say about half of them know how good-looking they are. The other half have no idea, and it's hilarious. As for dating someone out of my league, I've done that too. This guy was a dreadlocked rock star whose body looked like it was chiseled from stone. I have no idea why he was interested in me or if our relationship would have worked out (I moved to a different state two weeks after we got together, I'd already planned the move), but it was awesome. He was not a d-bag at all.
ShaynaLeah ShaynaLeah 7 years
This list is not about the high points of dating an "average" guy - its about the high points of dating someone with low self esteem, and a heaping dose of insecurities. With that in mind, I would say that the so called "positives" are more than balanced by clinginess, lack out outside interests, and neediness. Oh yeah, sounds fun.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
I agree bryseana... I hate what Hollywood movies or shows refer to as "average." Remember how Seth Cohen in the OC was supposed to be some huge geek no one found attractive? If that guy went to my high school, I guarantee he'd surpass geek status.
bryseana bryseana 7 years
I have never referred to someone as average, etc...Seems mean. Besides, I think that guy's cute. He was great in Tropic Thunder too.
janneth janneth 7 years
Did you ever meet a really hot looking guy who seemingly doesn't know it? It can be very confusing at first.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
Right on, Pistil. I go for the average guys, but I'm a good looking girl and sometimes they fall all over themselves trying to impress me. I just want to tell them, treat me like a HUMAN BEING, not a HOTTIE, and we'll see how far we get.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
Average is my league.
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